You can all blame @arroia for this one. In her blog, she wanted us to ask her a question, and "get creative." I would have posted in her comments, but the whole post would have been a mess. Consequently, you, lucky reader, get posed the question too. This ought to be fun.
And remember, @arroia, you asked for it.
Okay, so the year is 3053, and you're first mate on an exploration vessel that's been charting the far end of the galaxy. Your ship has encountered an... anomaly (cue dramatic music). Not only is your FTL (faster than light) drive down, 99% of the crew is afflicted with awkwardly heightened libidos and the inability to remember anything for more than five minutes, due to a food replicator malfunction.
You and the smirking, snarky science officer (played by Ian Sommerhalder) are the only ones seemingly unaffected.
Your captain is a distinguished, if somewhat insidious, gentleman (Martin Sheen), normally of impeccable taste and manners.
The engineer (voiced by Tilda Swinton) , a being comprised entirely of energy, is unfortunately of no help, since she seems to subsist off the energy of the crew and thus reflects their state of mind.
The ship's doctor (Killian Murphy) spends most of his time in the sim-chamber now (traveling time in a police call box-- apparently he thinks he's a different kind of doctor).
The Navigator (Scarlett Johannsen), is from an all-female race of spacefaring quasi-humanoids with pitch-black skin and control over kinetic forces. She can survive the vacuum of space and doesn't need to breathe or eat-- she is instead nourished by radiation and an odd form of photosynthesis. The whole race has a flawless sense of location in space, which makes her indispensable in her job. She has just discovered the wonders of touch.
The crew is entertaining, but useless. The state of the lower decks is tantamount to a cheesy but high-budget porn.
Incidentally, the front page on Suicide Girls is presently featuring a cute, leggy girl who grows fiber optic cable instead of hair, and there's an awesome blog by @sean's brain, which has been preserved in a jar for the last millennium.
Now the question: Who is at fault for the malfunction?
And multiple choice time: Do you...
A) Arrest the culprit?
B) Give them a frigging medal?
C) Not let the rest of the crew have ALL the fun?
D) Throw up you hands and shout: "How the fuck does shit like this happen to us every week?!!"
E)All of the above.
