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cyanide81

Member Since 2002

Followers 85 Following 112

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Saturday Mar 02, 2013

Mar 2, 2013
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I'm definitely feeling a shift in my lifestyle and outlook on life. I'm being a bit more proactive, I'm walking, I'm eating (mostly) better, I'm starting to feel more confidence. I've lost 18lbs in the last month, I'm actually going out on dates, and I'm getting out of the house more often.

I know I've said similar things in my blogs before but this time it really does feel different. I really feel like I'm turning my life around. I feel for the first time in a long time that I might be ok. I still have my depressed moods, but I'm not letting them discourage me too much.

as fir those two girls, I've now gone out with both of them. the first one I went out with, I felt a connection. not a major one, but I'd like to see her again. but she might not feel the same. that's ok I guess. at least I'm trying.

the second girl, I went out with her tonight. she was nice, but I didn't feel much of a connection with her. and that's ok too. again, at least I'm trying, and putting myself out there, and not just sitting at home waiting fir things to happen.

after the date, I went to one if the casinos I used to work at, and I saw a girl I had a HUGE crush on. at the time, I sensed that she might have been into me as well, but I waited too long, and never made a move on her, and she ended up with another guy. I not know if she's still with him, but when I saw her tonight, I saw the look in her eyes and the smile on her face that I remembered her having before whenever she talked to me. I talked with her a little bit, and I told her that k was going to try and get my job back there, she seemedto be genuinely happy about it.

so, I dint know what will happen, if anything, with any of those women, but the simple fact that I'm trying to no only step out if my shell, but shatter it, is making me feel better about myself.


I hope everything is well with you all

=========

oh and I bought a kindle fire hd! I'd rather have an iPad, but so far I like it. took this with it:

VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
niobe:
I'm changing. But it doesn't matter. Nothing I do is enough.
Mar 5, 2013
niobe:
I'm no longer strong enough to ignore it. If I couldn't keep my husband around and happy after 13 years....what right do I have trying to be with anyone else. I'm a fucking failure.
Mar 5, 2013

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