cyanide81

So overall, this has probably been the worst year of my life. So many horrible things have happened to me and those i care about.

Granted, great things happened as well, nothing greater than the recovery my mom made in January after almost dying. I count that as the only good thing that has happened this year in my life.

But next year is going to be different. I am going to do what needs to be done to take care of myself, both physically and emotionally.

I'm going to try and get a different outlook on life, and of what's important. I say these kinds of things often, and usually have no results. But i can feel it, if i dont make changes, i am going to condemn myself to a miserable, short life. And im just tired of feeling miserable. I see so many people around me always talking about amazing things happening in their lives, and i feel left out, because i have nothing to compare.

But why not me? Why cant i have amazing things happen to me? Why cant i live an amazing life? I already know i can live a terrible one. Why cant it be different?

I am going to embrace change. Good and bad, all change leads you somewhere, and its up to me to make that place a good one.