corpse81

I'm having trouble figuring out what makes people "good". In general. Its not religion...because there are plenty of jerk ass christians out there...its not life experience...Who developed morals? If we were brought up to be polyamorous, it would be considered "okay". But we have always been taught that it should 2 people who are monogamous. Just because we THINK that doesn't make it right though. I wish I wasn't jealous. Why do I think the way I do? Why does anyone? It obviously has nothing to do with my upbringing or else I'd be exactly like my parents. So what made me stray? Fate? Something born within my soul? Where did I get these interests of mine? How come gardening to me is like being burned in hell, but to other people its life? What made them LOVE gardening and me despise it? Why am I not into certain hobbies? Because they simply don't interest me. What is that thing in our heads that draws us to certain things,people, and interests? What is "chemistry" between 2 lovers? Where they once in love in another life? Why am I able to have chemistry with so many different people, and then have it all fall apart? Why in fucks name do we date? We get together with 1 person...then basically say "I want to spend the rest of my life with this person". Why decide to only have sex with that one person after only 2 days of knowing them? Should you sacrifice someone elses happiness for your own? People say life is too short to be miserable, so if you totally destroy someone elses life because you want something they have, how good of a person are you? I'm talking about "stealing" someone elses husband/wife or bf/gf. If 2 people really want to be together, but can't because, say, they are married to someone they don't really like....what's to stop them from being happy even if it means destroying their spouses lives? Is it really the right thing to do? What does it matter if I get up in the morning, or file bankruptcy, or squash a bug, or kill someone? No body will remember in 100 years; its all insignificant. Why even try? I'm searching for my purpose on this earth, I'm searching for a reason to get up everyday, and so far I've found nothing worthwile. Why am I constantly paranoid about my significant other finding someone better than me? Why am I depressed about absolutley nothing when someone else in my shoes would be on cloud 9? Someone else could handle the stress of my everyday life better than I can. Why do I constantly sleep through appointments and important things? Is the smoking really causing my headaches and stomach problems? I believe in fate. Its complicated and difficult to explain. Basically it has to do with time and space. If we go back in time, technically speaking, and pick 1 person to follow, they have a fate. We know exactly what will happen to them and theres no stopping it...assuming we can't intervene. Beings from another galaxy can do the same to us. So in 100 years, if a being comes back to earth, my life will go on exactly as planned. This makes no sense. I can't figure out a way to explain what I mean. Basically...in the future, my life has already happened, so in the present, there is no free will to alter anything that happens to me. I'm not saying I'll be lazy because fate will just "take care of it". I'm still going to do all the "normal" things us humans were brought up to do...work....make money...work...thats about it. But I just feel like everything in my life happens for a reason...and not in that cliche way. Cause and effect, so to speak. I also believe that when bad things happen, theres nothing one could have possibly done to avoid those things. Like when people die and other people are like "oh if only i could have done this..." Its stupid to even think that, because that persons death was already planned out. If you would have listened to them that one night instead of saying "im too busy" and they went out and got drunk and got killed in a car accident...it wasnt your fault. Even if you had listened to them that one night, they still would have died in a car accident. It may not have been the same exact way or same night, but it would have happened none the less. Them dying, not neccisarily in a car crash though. Fortune tellers and tarot readers and all that crap is nonsense. You cant forsee your fate, you cant change it. Sometimes you get feelings....esp....signs in dreams...intuitions....of things to come. But sometimes they are so odd that its hard to put real meaning to them.