committed

Care Bears Cant Rescue This Burnt Cookie...
I'm seriously down today...
I feel like all my friends are pushing me away...
Not to mention...it seems like almost every day/night
I'm having to go to the ER for pain relief or bloodclots or
something else...My time and days have been revolving around
whether or not I'm close to a hospital or my new place so I can go
pass out...I'm truely sorry to those I've said I would hang out
or meet up with and not done so...It's not easy right now...
Seriously!!

Anyways...out of depressing times comes loads of writing...
So here goes...


~Crazy~

To those who can

I walked around in circles,
All in my head,
They call me crazy,
I call myself dead.

I cant get the images out of my head,
All those things I see,
Put me in this bed.

Im strapped down,
From my wrist to my feet,
All I can think is,
Oh God why cant I just breath?

I have no place to call home
For sure now,
Im all alone.

They took my soul,
Then threw it away,
I now know I shouldnt have ever told them all the things I see,
Inside me they creep,
Man this time Im in deep.

All the nightmares I have make me weary,
I cant sleep,
So they give me a pill
I drift away with out a struggle,
My body goes numb,
I cant fight it any longer.

Im getting weaker by the hour,
My skin is sun deprived,
I no longer feel the hunger,
I no longer fight for my rights.

All I wanted was a little help,
To talk to some one who knew how it felt,
Bad luck is what I have,
should have left way back when
Because now its to late to be gone

I'm not crazy!!
I just never wanted to sleep,
I just wanted all the nightmares to go away,
Though now I just want to die

At first they put me in just a white room.
With absolutely nothing to do,
Believe me you would want to die too.

I found a piece of glass,
I could no longer fight the urge,
I started to give in to those things I saw,
I was red up and down head to toe,
But it wasnt enough.

They found me so they say just in time
Though as I put it,
They found me before I had a chance to die.

So now I sit strapped all the way around,
They wired my mouth shut,
I no longer have a voice,
Because when I became desperate
I bit off my tongue,
Never had the chance to bleed to death.

Now I'll admit,
I'm crazy with in,
It's all because of them,
That I am what I am .

I was just a normal kid,
Just was a little worried with in,
Those things a saw scared every part of me,
Though it's nothing like what theyve done to me.

Will I ever be set free?
Please, please just let me be!
Do you see now why I want to leave?
See this is why I bleed

These things youve done is worst then I anyone can dream,
It's worst then those things I see.
You stupid hypocrites, you said I can do this
when indeed you cant
Now I'm crazy
Now, it will never be ok ever again.

You took my money and laughed out loud,
while I sit here and drown
And I still see those things in my head


~Do You UnderStand?~

Do you just wonder why you feel like it's all falling apart,
Have you ever sat alone in the dark?
Have you ever tried to under stand?
How to pick it all up again?

How many nights,
Have you lain awake?
Just wishing you werent a mistake,
Just wishing life would give you a break,

How many times,
Have you wanted to say goodbye,
But never had the guts,
To even try

Have you ever cut yourself so deep?
That it didnt even bleed,
Have you ever felt so weak?
That you could even breathe?

Do you just wish you could die?
Or maybe even fly,
Or maybe,
You just want to know why,
I am writing this rhyme


~Old Feelings~

To old feelings that some times just don't go away

Let it bleed,
So everyone will see,
The real me.

What hurts me so deep,
Is the hypocrisy I see,
See how she lied to me?
Twisted my brain till I was mocked,
Melted my feelings to a heartless block,
There I stood only in shock.

If you could feel the way I do for just a day,
I know for a fact you wouldnt want to stay.
I still dont know what I would say,
If I saw her face to face.

Would I see a glimpse of me?
Or would I smile because it would be a strangers face
That no longer has the best of what I used to be.

See me sit dead,
Finally at peace.


~Let Me~

Let me bleed,
Let me be,
Let me see for myself,
What this is doing to me,

Let time pass,
Let me break the glass,
Let me cut my face
So I can be scared of this fate,

Let me walk,
Let me talk,
Let me go on and on,
Let me see where I went wrong,

Let her face wither from my brain,
Let her love be erased from this game
Let me find some one new,
So I will quit bothering you

Let the light leave my eyes,
Let me find my own way to say goodbye,
Let me cry,
But please dont let me die...


~One More Time~
I was told I write to deep,
And this poem is turning out really cheap.

I'm crying while I write this,
Cant you see the tear stained pages?

I really want to write something cheerful,
Though I cant seem to think of anything that rhymes with meaningful.

Crap I'm stuck in a rut,
Oh hell ,how about one more lost rhyme.

Here I go,
one more time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
STOP
Did I catch your eye?
Are you focused on just my on going sad rhymes
If your wondering,
I have no idea why.

REMEMBER.to add this to each of the following sentences.
To tell me what you think of this message,
To yell at me when its starts to get off track
I'm just a girl,
I often forget this.

FORGET
All your problems for just one day,
The need to give up,
What its like to be lonely.

LOVE
Like it will never hurt,
Like you could die if you held it in much more,
Like your young again,

You get my point?

BE
All that you are,
Like your not scared at all,
Your best even though your not all there right now.

TALK
Is cheap when its all you want to believe.
is so sad when nothing good is said,

I wish
You could be me for just one day.
I could live my way this time around.
You would in joy this rhyme..
This time.


~Dont Need~
To the hand I hold

I dont need,
Big and power full words,
To make this poem famous,

I dont need,
The perfect place,
Or the right time,
To feel inspiration.

I dont need a long vacation,
To rid my worried soul,
I dont need a card and a dozen roses to feel loved or whole

All I need,
Is a hand to hold.

To grip when I'm nervous,
To feel when I'm anxious,
To pull me up when Im ready to fall,
I just need it to be there all in all.

I just need to know,
That some one cares,
And has taken the time,
To believe in my life,
Is that so wrong?

No I dont think so,
Because I know we all wish for it,
At one point in this world,
So please dont say Im dependent on her,
To get me though all these rough roads ahead,
Because really I can do it on my own,
It would just be nice to know shes by my side,
To make sure Im alright.
Isn't that nice?









Love Ya!!
~LiBBy