Snippets Snippets
of a life
You asked for it, here's more:
August again. couple days later, maybe the 10th maybe the 12th Interesting how time ceases to exist when you are going nowhere having nothing to lok forward to, no goals to reach into the future for. Everything is now now now!
Friday I drank whiskey, snorted coke, danced, wore black jeans, wife ebater, spiked collar, dyed hair green
Sat/Sun I took ecstasy, dance and smoked pot and was fucked up till around 1:30 p Sunday, drove around Chicago after leaving a party @ 7:30a to look for another party. Crashed hard. Wore floor lenght green dress, ostrich feather sleeves.
Mon I posed nude, actually had to simulate having sex with Karen for a cripple photographer who lives in a penthouse on Lakeshore Drive, He has a cat named BB, pays 100$ an hour.We were so cold and bored and just wanted the money.
I feel
incredible beautiful good
Im clean shiny plaited
I read, watched, smoked 3 or four
And it is not art
this beauty, these thought, what dreams?
no.
judged.
I am smiling cause I feel good but funny how inside
they are still playing at rough games
No horseplay.
And I can't even swim w/o noseplugs.
How odd to be loved, desired, wanted
Peaking at 19.
Is it poetry when you scribble down randomn thoughts?
When you are frightened
When you are what someone else has written?
Or do you smile or cry?
Because fear isn't sadness
What do you do when you want to be Lillie Langtry
but you have fallen from prestige
When you sell your records for cash
and dream of cocaine
which you are afraid of
like your parents
like physics lectures
like having sex for the first time
like not bein beautiful or funny or intelligent
or moderately well off
when this happens
I have good conversations with the elderly men at
Dunkin Donuts.
----Why do I feel like I have to add a disclaimer to my past life? like a little "haha, that was a crazy time" or "Whoooo! What was I thinking, i was crazy!" It's stupid, cause that's still me inside, just a little older, not necessarily saner at all.
of a life
You asked for it, here's more:
August again. couple days later, maybe the 10th maybe the 12th Interesting how time ceases to exist when you are going nowhere having nothing to lok forward to, no goals to reach into the future for. Everything is now now now!
Friday I drank whiskey, snorted coke, danced, wore black jeans, wife ebater, spiked collar, dyed hair green
Sat/Sun I took ecstasy, dance and smoked pot and was fucked up till around 1:30 p Sunday, drove around Chicago after leaving a party @ 7:30a to look for another party. Crashed hard. Wore floor lenght green dress, ostrich feather sleeves.
Mon I posed nude, actually had to simulate having sex with Karen for a cripple photographer who lives in a penthouse on Lakeshore Drive, He has a cat named BB, pays 100$ an hour.We were so cold and bored and just wanted the money.
I feel
incredible beautiful good
Im clean shiny plaited
I read, watched, smoked 3 or four
And it is not art
this beauty, these thought, what dreams?
no.
judged.
I am smiling cause I feel good but funny how inside
they are still playing at rough games
No horseplay.
And I can't even swim w/o noseplugs.
How odd to be loved, desired, wanted
Peaking at 19.
Is it poetry when you scribble down randomn thoughts?
When you are frightened
When you are what someone else has written?
Or do you smile or cry?
Because fear isn't sadness
What do you do when you want to be Lillie Langtry
but you have fallen from prestige
When you sell your records for cash
and dream of cocaine
which you are afraid of
like your parents
like physics lectures
like having sex for the first time
like not bein beautiful or funny or intelligent
or moderately well off
when this happens
I have good conversations with the elderly men at
Dunkin Donuts.
----Why do I feel like I have to add a disclaimer to my past life? like a little "haha, that was a crazy time" or "Whoooo! What was I thinking, i was crazy!" It's stupid, cause that's still me inside, just a little older, not necessarily saner at all.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
bob_dobalina:
i'd appreciate it greatly if you'd share a photo or two with me
bishop:
I bet your past is what makes you the cool, hot cha-cha you are NOW - apologize for NOTHING!!!!!