Its been a while.
Where I live
So I haven't really been on the radar of late. Most of you know things went to shit for me in London really quick. My job was totally wrong for me and my living situation was making me ill with stress. So I left, moved back to my Mum's; which for the record is on the Cambridgeshire/ Norfolk border. Now I need a job and a life.
Work
I've signed up for temping agencies, applied for over 40 jobs and so far had one day as a temp and 2 interviews. I have a biggie tomorrow for a marketing position with one of the biggest travel companies in Europe and frankly, I'm in no way qualified to do it. The interview itself is scaring the fuck out of me (theres actually 2 positions, both in the E-Marketing department) and the idea of getting the job is even worse. I'm trying to start a career in something that is genuinely challenging for me. That may not seem that weird, but I so rarely find things difficult, it is actually a big step for me not just to cruise in my comfort zone. That probably sounds arrogant, but I am just fortunate that most things in life have come quite naturally to me.
So thats the job thing, its happening slowly but there is movement and I'm quietly confident that within a month I will have my first step on the marketing ladder.
Love
A lot of you know that I have had someone in my life for over 5 years. We've been through some pretty rough patches and 2007 was one to forget. But we seemed to have sorted things, and are together again but in a much more positiver way than we were. I was too young for co-habiting and making the compromises neccessary to be successful in the relationship. But now I have my own space and have suffered a pretty major crash to reality I think I've finally had the wake up call required. Fingers crossed but hopefully love will run more smoothly for me now.
Friends
This is the bit where your probably included. This is the one thing I'm lowest about at the moment. If it wasn't for Kelly I would be mental. I've returned to the area I went to school in, and that is not a positive thing. Those I really liked have gone, and inevitably moved on. My two best friends Giles and Vicky are still very much in my life, and Vicky actually drove from Wales to cheer me up the moment she knew I was back here, but I still miss them terribly. I'm not sure that If I live to a million, two people will understand and tolerate me like they do.
My Uni friends are spread far and wide, and whilst I saw them last week, I'm realising quickly that with the exception of 2 or 3, the vast majority don't really relate to me now. I was always part of Simon & Kelly, and that dynamic has moved beyond their comprehension. I won;t be rushing to spend time with them again quickly.
SGUK. Thank god for this dysfunctional bunch of weirdos over the past 3 years. I love and respect so many of you that to imagine life had I not signed up is impossible. At the moment though, this is more a source of misery than comfort. I was always distant, living in Hull meant meets were sporadic and far too infrequent, but now I feel so out of the loop its depressing. Living in London spoiled me, and now meets come and go with no hope of me being able to attend and so I've stopped reading the threads. I want to feel a part of it all again but its just seems so massive I'm not sure how. I hope I'll see some of you again soon, but fuck knows when. I'm going to make a more concerted effort to do the actual journal bit which I've neglected the last year or so but its not the same.
Anyway, this has turned into an epic whinge. I'm just a bit lonely and ranting, I'm sure I'll find my inner cunt again soon enough.
If your still reading, get a life
Where I live
So I haven't really been on the radar of late. Most of you know things went to shit for me in London really quick. My job was totally wrong for me and my living situation was making me ill with stress. So I left, moved back to my Mum's; which for the record is on the Cambridgeshire/ Norfolk border. Now I need a job and a life.
Work
I've signed up for temping agencies, applied for over 40 jobs and so far had one day as a temp and 2 interviews. I have a biggie tomorrow for a marketing position with one of the biggest travel companies in Europe and frankly, I'm in no way qualified to do it. The interview itself is scaring the fuck out of me (theres actually 2 positions, both in the E-Marketing department) and the idea of getting the job is even worse. I'm trying to start a career in something that is genuinely challenging for me. That may not seem that weird, but I so rarely find things difficult, it is actually a big step for me not just to cruise in my comfort zone. That probably sounds arrogant, but I am just fortunate that most things in life have come quite naturally to me.
So thats the job thing, its happening slowly but there is movement and I'm quietly confident that within a month I will have my first step on the marketing ladder.
Love
A lot of you know that I have had someone in my life for over 5 years. We've been through some pretty rough patches and 2007 was one to forget. But we seemed to have sorted things, and are together again but in a much more positiver way than we were. I was too young for co-habiting and making the compromises neccessary to be successful in the relationship. But now I have my own space and have suffered a pretty major crash to reality I think I've finally had the wake up call required. Fingers crossed but hopefully love will run more smoothly for me now.
Friends
This is the bit where your probably included. This is the one thing I'm lowest about at the moment. If it wasn't for Kelly I would be mental. I've returned to the area I went to school in, and that is not a positive thing. Those I really liked have gone, and inevitably moved on. My two best friends Giles and Vicky are still very much in my life, and Vicky actually drove from Wales to cheer me up the moment she knew I was back here, but I still miss them terribly. I'm not sure that If I live to a million, two people will understand and tolerate me like they do.
My Uni friends are spread far and wide, and whilst I saw them last week, I'm realising quickly that with the exception of 2 or 3, the vast majority don't really relate to me now. I was always part of Simon & Kelly, and that dynamic has moved beyond their comprehension. I won;t be rushing to spend time with them again quickly.
SGUK. Thank god for this dysfunctional bunch of weirdos over the past 3 years. I love and respect so many of you that to imagine life had I not signed up is impossible. At the moment though, this is more a source of misery than comfort. I was always distant, living in Hull meant meets were sporadic and far too infrequent, but now I feel so out of the loop its depressing. Living in London spoiled me, and now meets come and go with no hope of me being able to attend and so I've stopped reading the threads. I want to feel a part of it all again but its just seems so massive I'm not sure how. I hope I'll see some of you again soon, but fuck knows when. I'm going to make a more concerted effort to do the actual journal bit which I've neglected the last year or so but its not the same.
Anyway, this has turned into an epic whinge. I'm just a bit lonely and ranting, I'm sure I'll find my inner cunt again soon enough.
If your still reading, get a life
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I never saw that before! I think it's my necklace that's hanging down. I never actually really looked at that pic properly - it shows off more than I realised