On Sunday, with nothing better to do, I decided to create a store mascot. I took a buttplug that was about the size of a football and gave it big cartoon eyes and a big happy smile. He was dubbed Mr. Buttplug for lack of a better name. I put small sign next to it saying MR BUTTPLUG SAYS: DON'T FORGET TO BUY LUBE!. Figuring not only could it amuse, but also make helpful suggestions to the customers. Every week he(it, the pronouns are interchangable) could provide new advice. Like next week he could say: Avoid the clap, but some condoms! (That's good advice, kids). Brilliant, wouldn't you say?
I come into work today and Mr. Buttplug is still there, but his sign is gone. The manager said while he found Mr. BP (I'm tired of typing buttplug) amusing, Sharon the director of retail operations would say the sign is too crass. So Mr. BP gets censored. I tried to argue that the sign wasn't nearly as offensive as some of our DVD titles such as:
DRILL MY ASS
CUCKOO FOR COCOA COCKS
CUMSWAPPING SLUTS
MAKE MY ASS CUM
FRANCESCA HAS A NEGRO PROBLEM
I WANNA CUM INSIDE YOUR MOM
CUMSHITTERS
** And let me take a moment here a say kids, if you're shitting cum you might want to reconsider your sexual choices or at least check out our selection of anal douches. Because when that stuff dries it's gonna be like someone spackled your asshole. But I digress, back to the story. **
Well the argument was no good because he's tried to use it in the past and was shot down. So, MR. BP stands silent.
There's a photo Mr. Buttplug in my album since I still can't get pictures to appear on my journal. He looks kind of primitive. I think I'll buy him some googly eyes and maybe give him hands.
Yeah, I know it's stupid, but when I'm bored out of my skull on a Sunday afternoon this is the result.
Also brds8myface demanded an update. You should be careful what you ask for.
If all this talk of cumshitting and buttplugs offends anybody, sorry. At least you're not surrounded by it 5 days a week like me.
I come into work today and Mr. Buttplug is still there, but his sign is gone. The manager said while he found Mr. BP (I'm tired of typing buttplug) amusing, Sharon the director of retail operations would say the sign is too crass. So Mr. BP gets censored. I tried to argue that the sign wasn't nearly as offensive as some of our DVD titles such as:
DRILL MY ASS
CUCKOO FOR COCOA COCKS
CUMSWAPPING SLUTS
MAKE MY ASS CUM
FRANCESCA HAS A NEGRO PROBLEM
I WANNA CUM INSIDE YOUR MOM
CUMSHITTERS
** And let me take a moment here a say kids, if you're shitting cum you might want to reconsider your sexual choices or at least check out our selection of anal douches. Because when that stuff dries it's gonna be like someone spackled your asshole. But I digress, back to the story. **
Well the argument was no good because he's tried to use it in the past and was shot down. So, MR. BP stands silent.
There's a photo Mr. Buttplug in my album since I still can't get pictures to appear on my journal. He looks kind of primitive. I think I'll buy him some googly eyes and maybe give him hands.
Yeah, I know it's stupid, but when I'm bored out of my skull on a Sunday afternoon this is the result.
Also brds8myface demanded an update. You should be careful what you ask for.
If all this talk of cumshitting and buttplugs offends anybody, sorry. At least you're not surrounded by it 5 days a week like me.
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
i'm gonna be alughing fo hours now...
welcometo SG indy
I think Mr Buttplug needs his sign. How else is he going to impart all the wisdom that comes with being a...well, ok, so is there really that much wisdom in being a buttplug? But still. It's not like he can talk. Hmm...but if someone were to put one of those electronic chips into him so he could talk...
Oh man. Another drummer for whom I will have an inate weakness. It's not fair!
*edited to say: I remembered what I was going to say
[Edited on Aug 19, 2005 11:15AM]