cklarock

Dear Recent Wave of Crazy People in my Periphery,


Hows it going?

Actually, dont answer that, because while I mean it as a generic greeting, you might take it as an opportunity to actually tell me how its going, and I dont want to know. Thanks, though. This is more of a take one for the team, thing rather than a sharing is caring thing.

Heres what I need you to do. Please.

Please stop yelling at everyone on the bus. (Except for that guy that wears five sets of clothes and does the stand-up comedy thing. Youre actually funny, dude, dont go changin.) But the rest of you bus-yellers, cut it out. Nobody really needs to know what a Real American is, nor do we want to be shown what Vietnam combat is all about. The lady sitting across from you may have bumped you, but that doesnt make her a forty dollar whore. And for fucks sake, if you yell at a woman with a baby there is something seriously wrong with you.

Simple rule of thumbif the presence of strangers makes you want to yell shit, you shouldnt take public transportation. As a matter of fact, you might just be a frustrated hermitgive it a shot.

And whichever of you keeps pissing on the bus? Fucking cut it out, its nasty.

Also, no screaming at your co-workers. Please, for the love of the Black Baby Jesus, just try to . . . tune in to whats really going on with your life. If youre so miserable and stressed out that you cant keep your cool at work, then its likely that you arent really cut out for your job. In that case, a paradigm shift is in order. I recommend the self-directed paradigm shifts, theyre much less painful.

Maybe you should stop doing cocaine?

Oh, heres another thing: Nobody else is responsible for what you are feeling. Evar. Its not their fault that your expectations werent met, its your fault; keeping your expectations in touch with reality is your job. An expectation isnt an agreementits true that if somebody says theyll do something and then they dont, well yeah, they faded you. But if you are crushed because somebody just didnt do what you thought they would? Well, thats your fault. See, the way it works is, youre responsible for what you do, and everyone else is responsible for what they do. Isnt that simple? And when you start writing scripts in your head and then casting people into them, you dont get to be mad/hurt/disappointed when they dont know their lines. See, thats (wait for it . . .) your fault.

And please, yall, just stop trying to manipulate peopleif they dont want to do what you want them to, that doesnt mean its time for you to try to trick them into it. Dont you ever wonder why people have that really uncomfortable expression on their face when they talk to you? Its because theyre really uncomfortable.

Now listen, Im not asking for me. Really Im not. (Other than the pissing on the bus thing, because yeah, I really wish youd stop pissing on the bus.) I could give a fuck if you yell at your mom even when shes not around, talk about how Colombian drug lords still owe you three million dollars, or just confuse your fantasies with your realities. Its not about me. Im asking for the kids, man.

Do it for the fucking kids.