cklarock

Tough draw for the U.S. this World Cup. Italy, Ghana and the Czech Republic? Ouch.

Italy is ranked 12th in the world, Ghana 50th, and the Czech Republic second. The US is ranked 8th. Now I know rankings don't mean much, but it does give you an idea of how badly Ghana is fucked. They're as fucked as . . . well, Ghana outside of football. Still, this is a tough, tough group for the US to come out of.

I think there's an understanding that says for the United States, where football/soccer is a sport in most people's minds somewhere above bass fishing and below women's volleyball, that making four World Cup finals in a row should be an accomplishment in itself, but the stated goal of the US Soccer Federation was to be playing at a world championship level by 2010. Last World Cup's amazing run convinced a lot of us that the dream was within reach.

And if you want to compete for a world championship, you have to play the best teams sooner or later. Might as well be sooner. And as tough as group E is, how bad does poor Ivory Coast have it? They have to play with Argentina (4th in the World), the Netherlands (3rd) and Serbia and Montenegro (47). Ouch.

My top 5 teams this year:
1) The United States. Either the rest of the world lets us win at soccer, or we bomb them back into the stone-age, then rebuild their country to look like Orange County, CA. That's the fucking deal, people.
2) Trinidad and Tobago. . . . Fucking Trinidad and Tobago. Hell yes.
3) Ivory Coast. "Oh, hello. Is this your first time here at the World Cup? (Insincere smile) We have a special group just for you. Right this way."
4) South Korea. I still love them from last World Cup. They are my motherfuckers. I have no idea how they play nowadays, but I loved watching them last time.
5) Togo. I didn't know there were enough *people* in Togo to field a professional national side, nonetheless qualify for a World Cup. I will faithfully watch them lose every match. TOGO! TOGO! TOGO!
Bonus) England. Always been a fan of English football. Argentina vs. England? Please God, if You truly love Your children, make this match happen again.
Duh) Brazil. Everybody loves to watch Brazil. You just can't fuck with them, although they are mostly dicks.

My bottom 5 teams this year:
1) Mexico. Love the country, hate their side.
2) Italy. I love the *concept* of Italy. I even love the *execution* of Italy sometimes, but I also know why Italian fans always have to set shit on fire during Serie A games. If you watch Italian soccer long enough, you will too. Drama. Queens.
3) Spain. Again, love the country . . . and also love to watch them flame out and then have a complete melt-down and big cry about it in their national press.
4) France. You know what? I'm over France, even if I still have a crush on Thierry Henri.
5) Argentina.

Thanks to Teddykev for turning me on to this: Chessboxing.

This gives me the biggest hard-on of all time. Not because Im any good at chess, but because my conditioning really sucks. Fighting hard for a 2-minute round and then getting three minutes to rest before fighting again sounds pretty sweet.

I suck at chess, so my strategy would be to learn to play ultra-conservative defensive chess and just get busy in the ring. I'm thinking Benny Urquidez style aggression, combined with the chess skills of the homeless dudes on Market St.

If you chop down the body, the chess game will fail.