cklarock

2. I've been training in various martial arts and fighting systems for about 13 years now, and in all that time, I've met some amazing athletes, but only one man that I would consider a genuine bad-ass. I've trained with champions, skilled artists and general tough bastards, but my first instructor is the only real killer I know. He has had a legendary life and is the kind of tough guy all the other tough guys want to be.

I don't consider myself a tough guy by any stretch. I consider myself a big softie.

3. But I do believe that conflict is a core component of all human interaction, and that martial arts and combative sports are fantastic personal development tools. Six years ago, I choked out my night-terror, and have not had an episode since.

4. I crack myself the up when nobody else is around. I like to make funny pictures with Photoshop.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

5. I always remember my dreams. They are often complicated plot-wise and they are generally very fun.

I've been having dreams recently where I am fighting with edged weapons, or against edged weapons. My fighting mentor told me once that when confronted in the dream-time he just escalates weapon systems until he achieves superiority.

I don't know any other weapon systems.

But I can (and do) lucid dream. Usually that's enough to win with. This week, I went 1-for-2.

6. I like Thich Nhat Hanh a *lot*, but I think Miyamoto Musashi is sexier.

7. I love Kansas Basketball the whole United States, and wish sometimes that there was more European-style hooliganism in college sports so that I could go bash some security guards in the face with broken bottles . . . for my Jayhawks.

8. I am an adopted football hooligan for a German Bundesliga team Hamburg SV. I've never been able to attend a riot, but I have learned the fight song.

I think that the SV stands for Supremely Vicious. Or Sexy Vixen, maybe.

Hopefully.

9. Starting at the age of thirty, I taught myself graphic design and now that's what I do for a living; mostly nowadays I'm doing web design, with some page layout and the occasional print design job. My work is very good, but my clients are very unglamorous (with the exception of certain SG members who shall remain nameless).

My formal training is in "fine" art-- painting specifically, and my focus was portraiture. I used to be really good, and believed that I could draw out an aspect of my subjects' personalities in the image. By the end of the '90s I was so burned-out that I haven't done much drawing or painting ever since.

10. I'd probably rather fight three people at one time than commit to delivering a series of paintings.

11. I fought three people at one time once, and used footwork and duck-and-weave to avoid getting hit. My fight-coach had always told me that if I could get out of the way of a well-trained fighter, avoiding thugs wasn't going to be a problem. Turns out he was right.

During the fight, I was filled with a profound calmness, and I chose not to hit anyone. Later, I regretted that choice.

12. I believe that painting as it sits in the fine-art space is a dead art form. I know a lot of us are still fucking the corpse, and some of it is good, but it's dead, Jim.

I believe that it lives as graffiti and concept art; I also believe that print advertising in general is the world's most vibrant 2-d art form, and filmmaking is the world's current preeminent artistic movement. Food and culinary craft gives me the big happy, though.

13. I love to chew on straws. It soothes and relaxes me; it helps me concentrate. My brother Drue loves to chew on straws as well.

He is also the best chef I have ever met, and I love him more than I can express in writing.

14. My personal strength-metric is max reps in a single set of handstand pushups. I'm stronger at 35 than I've ever been in my life. I hit a new high not six weeks ago.

15. I used to scratch in a jazz-hip-hop-funk band. I loved playing, but hated touring.

I have never once gotten laid off of being on stage. Not once. Miss Sophie tells me that she thinks DJing is very sexy, but she was hooked-in before she ever heard my music. She likes me for more important things, like my haircut and how I dress.

16. I fucking LOVE old school R&B and soul music. Earth, Wind and Fire, Chaka Kahn and Rufus, the Drifters, Sam Cooke, Dazz Band, etc. . . .

17. I'm good at teaching anything I do well, but I'm exceptionally bad at being bad at things; I hate being unskilled and get frustrated easily.

Frustration makes me apply more focus and energy to a problem. This can create really exhausting loops.

18. I was institutionalized for "borderline personality disorder" when I was 17. I escaped, and was re-captured.

19. I am currently obsessed with writing standards-compliant XHTML, and styling it with CSS.

20. My favorite store to shop at is TRUE, the hip-hop clothing store in San Francisco. Something like 80% of my wardrobe comes from TRUE. I love being a turntablist, and I have loved the four elements of hip-hop since 1986 when I first heard Run-DMC's "Raising Hell." I remember distinctly wanting to know how Jam Master Jay made those sounds; being a white kid, I taught myself.

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Okay, that's my 20 things. Anyone who does not read them all will be afflicted by a modern, antibiotic-resistant strain of the Mummy's Curse. Think I'm playing? Go ahead and dont read it.

Now, I tag DC2020, Tarqu1n and Afshin.

Mummy's curse applies, gentlemen. (Afshin, you can get an waiver due to your schedule, but you'll have to fill out USASOC MCAF 336 Avoidance of Mummy Curse Due to Imminent Deployment or (if you're tricky) USASOC MCAF 212 Mummy Curse Eligibility Waiver.