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Someone tossed me their keys once. I tried to pretend I was in a mo…
I missed though, and they hit my in the face instead. Guess it was… -
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Met a cute chick in the park earlier today.
Chatted with her for a few minutes, but she never responded to anyt… -
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Zoos are stupid.
How was I supposed to know I wasn't allowed to ride the hippos? Th… -
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I have a small cube of aerogel. That ultra insulated, ultra light ma…
I have a small cube of aerogel. That ultra insulated, ultra light… -
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I wish I could turn into a fly, since i'd like to bully other flies.
I'd chase them into a spiders web, then laugh my fly ass off while … -
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You know how people say they had a brain fart?
How do you get it to do that? I'd like to know how, so I could mak… -
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If you have multiple personalities, I'd like to make friends with all…
Then make sure each personality knows what I want for my birthday e… -
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