Re: intelligent anarchists, no kidding! Grad school for philosophy has been good for putting my ideas to close scrutiny. It's a continual process, but at least when I assert something problematic, I know it's problematic, and why.
Individuals can grow apart, and there's nothing unusual (let alone "wrong") about that. Why wouldn't individuals grow out of a group, the same way? Heck, sometimes the group leaves one person behind.
You also seem cool, so conversations, away!
The bad part is if it happens with a bang