More Local Stupidity
Today's Local Genius Lesson: If God appears to you on your computer, and tells you to kill yourself, DO NOT ATTEMPT TO CRUCIFY YOURSELF. First of all, chances are it was just Paris Hilton and the suicidal feelings are natural. Second, crucifixion is a multi-person task, and when you finish nailing your secondary hand to the cross, you're up shit creek without a paddle. Furthermore, DO NOT CALL 911 ASKING FOR HELP NAILING YOUR OTHER HAND TO THE CROSS. They won't help you with that, trust me.
Yeah, that pretty much sums it up. Some local wingnut decided to crucify himself after god appeared to him on his computer. He tacked a suicide not above his head, nailed his left hand to the cross, suddenly realized he was unable to pound in the other nail, and called 911 for help pounding it in. The paper made a point of mentioning that he hadn't seen "The Passion of the Christ". I think thats pretty obvious, considering the movie clearly shows it takes more than one person to do the job.
Today's Local Genius Lesson: If God appears to you on your computer, and tells you to kill yourself, DO NOT ATTEMPT TO CRUCIFY YOURSELF. First of all, chances are it was just Paris Hilton and the suicidal feelings are natural. Second, crucifixion is a multi-person task, and when you finish nailing your secondary hand to the cross, you're up shit creek without a paddle. Furthermore, DO NOT CALL 911 ASKING FOR HELP NAILING YOUR OTHER HAND TO THE CROSS. They won't help you with that, trust me.
Yeah, that pretty much sums it up. Some local wingnut decided to crucify himself after god appeared to him on his computer. He tacked a suicide not above his head, nailed his left hand to the cross, suddenly realized he was unable to pound in the other nail, and called 911 for help pounding it in. The paper made a point of mentioning that he hadn't seen "The Passion of the Christ". I think thats pretty obvious, considering the movie clearly shows it takes more than one person to do the job.
Why are you the best? You always know what to say to make a girl smile.
So slim, are you going to do the speaking business? I have a strange attitude towards that stuff. I get all giggly and excited when asked to present things because it's kind of fun. It's a lot like eating at Popeye's Chicken. Kinda scary, but the rewards make it all worth your time.