I’m still in Portland Oregon, going on about 5 years now.
It’s pretty crazy to think that I have spent more consecutive time in Portland than I lived in Amsterdam. Like I can barely wrap my head around that fact.
Amsterdam was my favorite city and most loved city to work and live.
Before Amsterdam I lived in Rotterdam, and before that Dordrecht, before that Tilburg.
And I of course spent allot of time visiting other cities back then, some of my favorite cities to visit where Nijmegen, Arhnem .
This year was the first year I didn’t return to the Netherlands for a big visit. I decided to do road trips on the west coast since in August I got my drivers license and am able to finally travel by myself. It feels bittersweet, in October my brain was making weird connections and moments about my friends back in the Netherlands, like it was longing to be back. And of course Facebook and Instagram every morning shared my memories from previous years, almost making it harder to accept and enjoy my trips here.
I haven’t been very active on here, and sometimes I feel like I should be more active. Suicidegirls opened up my world in ways I never thought possible. When I became an Sg it was kinda when social media was really was starting to become a part of your everyday life, MySpace was really popular.
Suicidegirls, let me connect with so many people all over the world, in a much broader cast than MySpace did.
I got to be part of the SG booth at the London tattoo convention, and met so many SG’s from all over Europe. And I was part of the FIRST Dutch SG wave of models that joined Suicidegirls.
I had been friends with @candee on MySpace for a while, and then messaged her wondering if she was going to participate in the photo weekend with the Sg photographer @cherry. She was, and I threw out the idea of doing a duo set together. She loved the idea, after being friends on MySpace for a while we finally got to meet when we were shooting with @cherry . Me and @candee became very good close friends, and spend fun times together shopping and i would do her hair .
I also got to meet @clio through SG. I absolutely love her! We got to spend some great times together, and I became her hairstylist.
The lovely @franpire , wow she really was so stunning. Her impressive looks and her goddamn sweet down to earth personality is something I’m so happy to have welcomed into my life. I spent time volunteering at the club she worked, did her hair, and had fun times with hooping and spinning poi.
Besides those connections in the Netherlands, Sg made my path cross with so many SG’s from all over the world. Some of those connections helped me establish residence in Alaska (thank you @royal), and when I was moving to Portland @casper and @toxic were awesome help when I was inquiring about stripclubs to work.
I want to mention some more sg’s that I got to meet but didn’t get to spend as much time with. @cherry is super important to me as she shot my first two sets and I was able to go live and become and Sg.
@waikiki I had admired her online many times, and then somehow she ended up installing some of her video art in the salon I worked, and when I mustered up the courage to talk to her and ask her about Sg she was just amazing.
@annisa and me met through @royal when I started dancing in Alaska. The three of us became very close, and it was a pleasure working with her. I admire her dedication and love for her family.
@quinne was my biggest crush, when I finally went live and probably even in the few years after I had tried to make connections with her, but I never got a response back. (Back then) On her MySpace she had the song “breathe me” from Sia on her profile, and I fell in love with that song. Now many many years later me and Quine have become somewhat regular Instagram buddies over the last couple years.
@andrealaz for shooting my 3rd and 4th set that sadly never got accepted, and I’m so sad I’ve lost access to my old email account and can’t access those pictures anymore. It was so much fun having you at our Dutch Sg weekend.
And of the other things is that, SG opened up the doors for me doing more photography and modeling.
I’ve battled with my feelings towards SG nowadays, going from good to bad. I feel like when I went live back in 2005 SG represented more of why I wanted to be part of this site. I feel like back then it was more special, it really was the girl next door , or the nerdy girl, the goth/skater/punk that was choosing to defy the regular beauty standards and showing the world that “we” are awesome beautiful unique and give the middle finger to popular society.
But since then social media has exploded and the reach was so much more . By I want to say like 2010 SG was a name and site that was recognized and known in mainstream public.
The models were different, stunning, beautiful.. almost perfect I dare say. I felt Sg had lost its edge.
And I still somewhat feel that way, but I’ve also come to see that I was part of a movement that made society accept different beauty. And inspire other individuals to feel strong and stunning and experience and share their body. Even though Sg isn’t that site that only a small group of certain types knew and loved, I’ve grown and accepted it’s status nowadays. Cause I know there are still individuals that stumble upon SG and have their world opened and create acceptance for the members and give the models that inspiration and courage to embrace different beauty.
Thank you Suicidegirls , I’m glad I made the decision to become an Sg at the time that I did.
#SpiritofSG