brianjames81

(The first two paragraphs are best read with a southern accent.)

Howdy!!!

You like murder? Blood? Sex? Violence? Space monkeys? Whiskey? Exorcisms? Voodoo? El Caminos? Cigar smoking drag queens? Comic books? Born again robots? Karaoke? Watermelon? Disco devils and rock-n-roll angels?

If the answer is yes, then you must be kicking yourself in the nickels with ecstasy, because so far this summer has been jam...
Read More

Greetings True Belivers!

So, the other day while out mowing the lawn or cutting the grass (I forget which) I got a call from our good friend Captain Fatman. Waaahoooooo! Time for another good old fashion whoring misadventure! And this time it gets to be a buddy picture. Just what I could use (as you can tell from the recent lack of rambling pointless emails)....
Read More

I'm still around, true believers, don't fret. I've just been out saving the world so much lately that it hasn't left much time for journal entries. Don't worry, a new adventure is coming soon. Here's a preview.... I attended an exorcism in Atlanta and then fought zombies on an Indian burial ground on Las Vegas.

Bullets, booze, broads and zombies... my life couldn't get any...
Read More

Greetings, true believers,

Well, I'm off to save the world again! My Jet pack is fueled, my ray gun is charged and my super suit is clean. I've packed a fresh bottle of space monkey repellent, the Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks, a Kinky Friedman novel and last months issue of Taboo. Now It's time for a dose of my four favorite food groups;...
Read More

Well, I'v been sent back to Atlanta, and I've pretty much gotten my ass kicked everyday since arriving. As usual it's been a long strange trip filled with zombies, space monkeys and born again robots. I'm here until next Wednesday, so I'm sure things will only get longer and stranger.

Anyway, I've only got a second before I have to get back to saving the...
Read More

Hiya!

Well, everyone, I made it back from China with minimal parasitic damage and one pair of semi-clean undershorts. Now I am back in Jersey, where heroes drink hard and nothing 's more dangerous than a beautiful girl (well, except for a beautiful girl who turns out to be a dude). Can't say I'll miss old Guangzhou too much, the trip was rather lonely, and...
Read More

Last night we went to this semi-fancy pants restaurant in Collingswood. The food was good, and although it was rather casual they still made me wear pants. Four of us were seated at a table for six, which is just enough of a disorder to give a Virgo such as myself a weird eye twitch.

The menu was set in this really hard to read...
Read More

I am so lame......

Hello, Angels!

Well, the last few weeks have been filled with more doom and gloom and tragedy then even an existentialist such as myself can handle. Sure there were a few nights where I was able to indulge in my four favorite food groups: Booze, Broads, Bullets and Zombies (like that one night when Polar Bob, Andy, Stephanie and I went...
Read More

So yesterday was like one of those stressful, hateful days. I cant even put a reason on what made it that way, it just was! I was so full of evil that someone could have poured a barrel full of yellow, chocolate and black lab puppies over me, and I still wouldnt have cracked a smile. But, just when things were at their worst, when...
Read More

I am stressed and full of hate today. I know that I should only write of exagerated promiscuous misadventures, but this makes me feel better.


More later...