boyinescalator

i haven't been doing too great lately. i've been seeing this girl that i met at the rise against concert. its probably not going to work out. i wish i could just fucking act my age. that my problem, i fucking feel like i'm 45. almost everyone i meet my own age i look down on as immature. it makes me feel so fucking alone. i see that look in her eyes, but i just don't feel the same way. so is it me or is it her? i wish i was satisfied geting wasted all the time and having promiscuous sex. most of my goddamn friends just don't understand. they like to keep everything on the surface. . i wish i was fucking satisfied with that. i spent last night (friday) in my room all night feeling all the self-loathing and pity i could muster up. i hope its not like this forever. then on top of all this self-imposed isolation i've been feeling lately, theres the incident that happened earlier in the week. my fucking parents got smashed off their asses and my mom decided that she hates her life and took a bunch of pills. so my step dad is fucking crazy and is yelling to get out of his fucking house and never come back and how it was all our fault. at this point he throws my sister on the ground and i yell at him to leave her alone and so he gets all in my face and i tell him to hit me if he wants, but if he does i'm calling the cops. so instead he calls the cops and tells them i threatened his life. cops show up, take my mom to the hospital, my step dad goes with her, cops think hes crazy and say that we should probably all leave for the night just in case. i come home the next day and my mom and step dad are acting like nothing happened. i live in the goddamn fucking twilight zone.