Day 3
When I was young we moved a lot, and I hated it. At about 14 we moved again and I decided I was tired of never knowing anyone at school; having no confidence to go make friends I decided to home school. There is an amazing program in the mountains called DESK, and that was how I got my first computer (and the internet). I still remember going to pick it up from the school, my red iMac. School was fun from home, I had the house to myself, and a computer to screw around on when I wasn't doing work.
The precise moment that I first looked up naked women has been lost in my memories; what I didn't know was how much it would effect my life. The first women who loaded are still vivid in my memory; tall, voluptuous brunettes. I didn't connect that dot until more recently. It was the tall, voluptuous brunette I lived with who read the history on my new computer and explained how porn really works. The woman who are coerced and the abuses that can be present behind the scenes.
It was that discussion that really shaped my tastes. After all, I was already hooked; I didn't know it when it happened, but that first taste of porn has changed my life in incredibly widespread ways. When I found out that woman often aren't enjoying whats happening to them on screen, I stepped back and tried to stop looking. The more I thought about it though, the more I figured I'll just look at art, and not photos. That way I'm not hurting anyone. My love of books was transformed into a love of comic book porn and written erotica; I'd found a medium where the girls are always having a good time.
That was it for a long time. My tastes have wandered, but that was always the core of my addiction; drawn and written porn. My readings have taught me that porn addiction leads to a lot of issues based on desensitization from watching more and more extreme videos and images; I think it was the early turn to less stimulating forms of porn, as well as porn of a more mutual nature that has allowed me to avoid or delay some of the effects of long term use. On the other hand I started at such a young and formative age that I believe it reinforced my tendency to withdraw instead of to step up.
That was much how it went until high school and University.
When I was young we moved a lot, and I hated it. At about 14 we moved again and I decided I was tired of never knowing anyone at school; having no confidence to go make friends I decided to home school. There is an amazing program in the mountains called DESK, and that was how I got my first computer (and the internet). I still remember going to pick it up from the school, my red iMac. School was fun from home, I had the house to myself, and a computer to screw around on when I wasn't doing work.
The precise moment that I first looked up naked women has been lost in my memories; what I didn't know was how much it would effect my life. The first women who loaded are still vivid in my memory; tall, voluptuous brunettes. I didn't connect that dot until more recently. It was the tall, voluptuous brunette I lived with who read the history on my new computer and explained how porn really works. The woman who are coerced and the abuses that can be present behind the scenes.
It was that discussion that really shaped my tastes. After all, I was already hooked; I didn't know it when it happened, but that first taste of porn has changed my life in incredibly widespread ways. When I found out that woman often aren't enjoying whats happening to them on screen, I stepped back and tried to stop looking. The more I thought about it though, the more I figured I'll just look at art, and not photos. That way I'm not hurting anyone. My love of books was transformed into a love of comic book porn and written erotica; I'd found a medium where the girls are always having a good time.
That was it for a long time. My tastes have wandered, but that was always the core of my addiction; drawn and written porn. My readings have taught me that porn addiction leads to a lot of issues based on desensitization from watching more and more extreme videos and images; I think it was the early turn to less stimulating forms of porn, as well as porn of a more mutual nature that has allowed me to avoid or delay some of the effects of long term use. On the other hand I started at such a young and formative age that I believe it reinforced my tendency to withdraw instead of to step up.
That was much how it went until high school and University.