Day 12
My intention beginning this was to post more frequently then I have; however, I continue on. So far things have been up and down, but mostly up. It's interesting what floats to the top when my mind wanders. My mind is always darting back to porn, usually it's the addiction thought.
The addiction thought: the voice that addicts experience in their subconscious that reminds them they haven't done it recently. It's important to remember that it uses your voice.
So the struggle has been reminding myself not to look. The benefits have been strong though. I've been happy, taking things less personally and wonder of wonders I can talk. My experience in bars up to this point has been pretty solitary. Between lack of confidence, my hearing loss, and the loud music I would usually end up dancing or sitting quietly nursing a beer. The entire time knowing full well that I could talk to anyone if I wanted to. My confidence is higher than it's ever been, I can talk to anyone and do anything. More and more I realize things that have been holding me back, and it come back to this bull shit time and again.
My intention beginning this was to post more frequently then I have; however, I continue on. So far things have been up and down, but mostly up. It's interesting what floats to the top when my mind wanders. My mind is always darting back to porn, usually it's the addiction thought.
The addiction thought: the voice that addicts experience in their subconscious that reminds them they haven't done it recently. It's important to remember that it uses your voice.
So the struggle has been reminding myself not to look. The benefits have been strong though. I've been happy, taking things less personally and wonder of wonders I can talk. My experience in bars up to this point has been pretty solitary. Between lack of confidence, my hearing loss, and the loud music I would usually end up dancing or sitting quietly nursing a beer. The entire time knowing full well that I could talk to anyone if I wanted to. My confidence is higher than it's ever been, I can talk to anyone and do anything. More and more I realize things that have been holding me back, and it come back to this bull shit time and again.