the older i get the more it seems like i bury myself into a safety zone. at work, at home, with friends, with family the security blanket is wrapped tighter and tighter. perhaps the desire to be a Bad Ass has receeded or maybe i just know better than to test my mental and physical limits but the periods between gut checks have grown longer.
last week's forecasts were claiming that a late season NW swell was due to hit southern california on late friday and early saturday bringing 6-7 ft peaks to those with enough huevos to paddle out and charge in. 6-7 ft may not be that big to the experienced surfer but for someone like me who's only been riding waves for 10 months, i might as well have been trying to charge oahu's fabled north shore. as the ocean's energy grew with each approaching day, so did my anxiety. i tried to stay level in the days prior to saturday but the thought that i could get the best wave or worst wipeout of my life kept popping into my head.
turns out i was right on both accounts.
i woke up early saturday and drove south, west, then south and west again to manhattan beach. the lineup wasn't nearly as heavy as a typical saturday morning, most likely because the swell chased off those with more sense than me. the brutal paddle out beyond the break left me spitting and gasping for air and it was more than a few minutes before i was ready to chance it and paddle into a wave.
the first wave i paddled into was gnarlicious. the bottom dropped out and before i knew it i was staring down into a 7 ft pit. i stood up but it was too late and the front of my board submerged and i got shoved under deep enough that the water became dark. i can still feel it in my neck when i look up.
even though i had a royal feast (eg: i freakin ate it) i was undeterrred and i wasn't long before i paddled into another wave. i almost made the wave but the lip jacked up and i got thrown off the top then sucked up by the wave and spun ass-over-shoulders a few times. wipeout of a lifetime indeed.
there's something very liberating about knowing that you're not a coward. although in my case it very well may be that i've got more balls than sense. but starting out that morning i think my fear of bitching up surpassed my fear of being hurt, and once it was conquered i was ready to ride for real. the next few waves i charged were waves i caught and i've never ridden faster or pulled more radical moves before. sponsors won't be kicking down my door but two days later i'm still way stoked off the cutbacks and re-entries i pulled.
and that's why i surf.
last week's forecasts were claiming that a late season NW swell was due to hit southern california on late friday and early saturday bringing 6-7 ft peaks to those with enough huevos to paddle out and charge in. 6-7 ft may not be that big to the experienced surfer but for someone like me who's only been riding waves for 10 months, i might as well have been trying to charge oahu's fabled north shore. as the ocean's energy grew with each approaching day, so did my anxiety. i tried to stay level in the days prior to saturday but the thought that i could get the best wave or worst wipeout of my life kept popping into my head.
turns out i was right on both accounts.
i woke up early saturday and drove south, west, then south and west again to manhattan beach. the lineup wasn't nearly as heavy as a typical saturday morning, most likely because the swell chased off those with more sense than me. the brutal paddle out beyond the break left me spitting and gasping for air and it was more than a few minutes before i was ready to chance it and paddle into a wave.
the first wave i paddled into was gnarlicious. the bottom dropped out and before i knew it i was staring down into a 7 ft pit. i stood up but it was too late and the front of my board submerged and i got shoved under deep enough that the water became dark. i can still feel it in my neck when i look up.
even though i had a royal feast (eg: i freakin ate it) i was undeterrred and i wasn't long before i paddled into another wave. i almost made the wave but the lip jacked up and i got thrown off the top then sucked up by the wave and spun ass-over-shoulders a few times. wipeout of a lifetime indeed.
there's something very liberating about knowing that you're not a coward. although in my case it very well may be that i've got more balls than sense. but starting out that morning i think my fear of bitching up surpassed my fear of being hurt, and once it was conquered i was ready to ride for real. the next few waves i charged were waves i caught and i've never ridden faster or pulled more radical moves before. sponsors won't be kicking down my door but two days later i'm still way stoked off the cutbacks and re-entries i pulled.
and that's why i surf.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
i'm trying to score some for when i'm in chicago at the end of july/beginning of august - and they're going for astronomical amounts on ebay.
my brother's friend - who is also going on tuesday - is friends with one of the cubs, so there may be some interesting perks. but i don't know.
do you have tuesday off? cause i think we're gonna take off from my brother's place (which is right by my work, in Studio City) at 5 or so cause his friend wants to be there a bit early.
i'm not sure if i should get you the ticket in advance (but your going out of town could make that difficult) and have you meet us there, or what... we could probably swing by and get you on the way. let me know what will work with your plans...
/rambling.