since yesterdays superbowl was the end of the football season, i thought i might share a football story. turn on the wayback machine and i'm back in high school playing football. its towards the end of the season and i'm the starting cornerback for our high school football team. the end of the season means that winter is just around the corner and it gets pretty cold by the time the 7:30 pm kick off rolls around on friday night.
at the end of the season, everybody is beat up. ok, maybe not the bench warmers but guys like me are pretty much held together by advil and athletic tape. i was having problems cramping up during games so i'd taken to rubbing this bengay-type ointment on my legs. shit was extra super mega strength and it would buuuurn. but that burn was better than having a muscle cramped, contracted, and useless during the game.
we're about ready to take the field when i hit the head for a last minute piss before the action starts. i guess i didn't wash my hands very well cause some of that hyperstrength athletic ointment was still on my hands, which meant that some invariably got on my johnson. what started off as a kinda prickly warmth during pregame warmups grew to become a 4-alarm el scorcho fire in my jock by the time we were ready for the coin flip.
i was a team captain that year but missed the coin toss because i ran my ass back to the locker room to try and wash some of this liquid hot agony off my nutsac. i didn't even have enough time to get properly undressed with all the gear i had on so i just pulled my pants (with knee and thigh pads), girdle (held the hip and butt pads), compression shorts, and cup & athletic supporter down past my knees and turned the showers on.
what was intended to be a torrential downpour of cooling relief actually stoked the flames like the santa ana winds whipping through the san gabriel valley. i guess the water from the shower opened my pores and enhanced my agony. with no choice but to sack up and deal with it, i went back to the field to play the game.
i was soaked below the waist from water from the shower. and the cold air of a late autumn evening in virginia quickly gave the wet gear i had on an icy chill. combined with the pube-vaporizing sensation of the athletic ointment, i was in utter misery. but something about all that agony fueled me that evening and i went on to play one of the best games of my life. that game i had an interception, a pass defended, didn't give up any completions in my zone, finished all of my tackles, and had good kick off and punt returns all night.
consider it a lesson learned the hard way. cause whenever i rub some bengay on my shoulders and elbows after a day of charging the breaks on my surfboard, i always wash my hands two times before touching any other parts of my body.
at the end of the season, everybody is beat up. ok, maybe not the bench warmers but guys like me are pretty much held together by advil and athletic tape. i was having problems cramping up during games so i'd taken to rubbing this bengay-type ointment on my legs. shit was extra super mega strength and it would buuuurn. but that burn was better than having a muscle cramped, contracted, and useless during the game.
we're about ready to take the field when i hit the head for a last minute piss before the action starts. i guess i didn't wash my hands very well cause some of that hyperstrength athletic ointment was still on my hands, which meant that some invariably got on my johnson. what started off as a kinda prickly warmth during pregame warmups grew to become a 4-alarm el scorcho fire in my jock by the time we were ready for the coin flip.
i was a team captain that year but missed the coin toss because i ran my ass back to the locker room to try and wash some of this liquid hot agony off my nutsac. i didn't even have enough time to get properly undressed with all the gear i had on so i just pulled my pants (with knee and thigh pads), girdle (held the hip and butt pads), compression shorts, and cup & athletic supporter down past my knees and turned the showers on.
what was intended to be a torrential downpour of cooling relief actually stoked the flames like the santa ana winds whipping through the san gabriel valley. i guess the water from the shower opened my pores and enhanced my agony. with no choice but to sack up and deal with it, i went back to the field to play the game.
i was soaked below the waist from water from the shower. and the cold air of a late autumn evening in virginia quickly gave the wet gear i had on an icy chill. combined with the pube-vaporizing sensation of the athletic ointment, i was in utter misery. but something about all that agony fueled me that evening and i went on to play one of the best games of my life. that game i had an interception, a pass defended, didn't give up any completions in my zone, finished all of my tackles, and had good kick off and punt returns all night.
consider it a lesson learned the hard way. cause whenever i rub some bengay on my shoulders and elbows after a day of charging the breaks on my surfboard, i always wash my hands two times before touching any other parts of my body.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
damn, sir - isn't that still the case
good story~!
we should hang out soon. call us via a number you get from the pharoahooah. we can rage some videogames to his chagrin.
mm hmm new lucia set soon- athf style
hey you've gots to pick up ' Immortal Technique '
Revolutionary Volume 2 over at amoeba in tha hep hoop section....
tis the shiznittingest !
word