LIFE FADES AWAY TO DARKNESS.
I sit here alone in my room,
it has so many diff colors that fade away.
each color identifing a memory in my life past, present, an future.
every night i sit here an watch a diff color fade away lost for ever.
as they fade away i can feel apart of me fade also never to return.
im always alone lost in my despair an self pitty.
some say that your never alone, but is that really true.
is it possible to always have some one close to you but really not be there.
i have watch over a year of my life pass me by an i an ask my self what is the reason i lay here hopeless.
why shall i still be brething.
what is my purpose in life.
i have watched those close to me die an im stuck here with despair an greif.
i really never got to say good bye.
it kills me to lay here hoping to die.
i have lost most of my grandma's an grandpa's but never did i ever think i would watch my brother die.
words that never got spoken, hug's n kisses never given.
tears an crys are all that are left to be seen or spoken.
its so hard when you are the youngest child in a bigg family.
always the last to be heard or seen from.
smiles so bright but tend to fade once they reach down to me.
oldest brother an i never really speak.
you never really know how close you are to some one till you lose them.
things tend to just add up over time.
no one close enough to really talk to or open up an show my true tender heart to.
so many people say just to talk to anybody.
but you cant just talk to just anybody, has to be some one u can trust dearly.
if only they really knew what was laid out in my past.
some times i wish god would take my sight so i would not be able to see the one's that i hold so close.
that wayi would not see the past faed smiles of those i loved so much that i have lost.
all it takes now is an unknown face to bring back a past memory of a time that was so bright an full of life.
my eyes fill with tears tht run down my face.
thoughts that run through my head, only to remined me that is once the past an not now.
happy fades to sorrow.
back to my lonelyness an pitty.
the only thing that is keeping me alive an running is the thought of my lil girl.
seeing her smile for the very frist time, listen to her cry, tears of joy run down my face.
wanting to be a good father to her.
not wanting to be just like all the other dads out there be all i can be for her .
be able to give her all her dreams an passions.
be able to see her walk for the frist time.
watch her look at me with them beautiful eyes watching me to see her take a step.
know that dady is there for her an will always be there for her.
daddy loves you an will never leave you baby girl.
listen to her say her frist word, pick her up when she falls an hurts her slef reaching up to me.
be by her side when she wakes up screaming from her very frist nightmare, to show her that care's bout her an will always protect her no matter what.
be a shoulder to cry on when she falls in love the very frist time an gets her heart broken.
not just to be her dad but also her bestfriend for ever.
but can i really do al this if i am so depressed. always running to my dark place to hide from the real world.
always putting a fake smile on my face.
talking an laughing only to please an make other people feel good bout them self's.
some say dont do it for other people but do it for ur self.
but when you are this far in a dark place for over 10 years its hard to not fake a smile or even really think bout what really makes you happy.
i jump relationship to relationship thinking im happy an in love. 3 moths later im with a diff girl telling her i love her thinking that its really.
my family have a hard time talking to me cause i push those i love away.
they think its cause i dont care.
not true cause i do care its just that i dont want them getting hurt at what they see if i do open up with them.
its just that i dont want any of them to br going through what i am going through right now.
its a very dark an lonely road to be on.
i just dont think i am suppose to be here right now.
i some times hope god would put his hands over me an end it all.
REST IN PEACE AN MUCH LOVE. WILL ALL YOUR LOST MEMORYS CARRY ON THROUGH OUT THE CENTURYS. I LOVE YOU ALL AN MISS YOU SO DEARLY.
EDNA SMITH, GORDAN R GARL, ROBIN SMITH, GORDAN A GARL, GRANDMA ROSES GARL, BUDDY, GREAT GRANDPA SHAW, BANDIT, GRANDPA SHAW, LYIDA TREVINO AN MANY MORE WILL ALWAYS MISS YOU ALL.
I sit here alone in my room,
it has so many diff colors that fade away.
each color identifing a memory in my life past, present, an future.
every night i sit here an watch a diff color fade away lost for ever.
as they fade away i can feel apart of me fade also never to return.
im always alone lost in my despair an self pitty.
some say that your never alone, but is that really true.
is it possible to always have some one close to you but really not be there.
i have watch over a year of my life pass me by an i an ask my self what is the reason i lay here hopeless.
why shall i still be brething.
what is my purpose in life.
i have watched those close to me die an im stuck here with despair an greif.
i really never got to say good bye.
it kills me to lay here hoping to die.
i have lost most of my grandma's an grandpa's but never did i ever think i would watch my brother die.
words that never got spoken, hug's n kisses never given.
tears an crys are all that are left to be seen or spoken.
its so hard when you are the youngest child in a bigg family.
always the last to be heard or seen from.
smiles so bright but tend to fade once they reach down to me.
oldest brother an i never really speak.
you never really know how close you are to some one till you lose them.
things tend to just add up over time.
no one close enough to really talk to or open up an show my true tender heart to.
so many people say just to talk to anybody.
but you cant just talk to just anybody, has to be some one u can trust dearly.
if only they really knew what was laid out in my past.
some times i wish god would take my sight so i would not be able to see the one's that i hold so close.
that wayi would not see the past faed smiles of those i loved so much that i have lost.
all it takes now is an unknown face to bring back a past memory of a time that was so bright an full of life.
my eyes fill with tears tht run down my face.
thoughts that run through my head, only to remined me that is once the past an not now.
happy fades to sorrow.
back to my lonelyness an pitty.
the only thing that is keeping me alive an running is the thought of my lil girl.
seeing her smile for the very frist time, listen to her cry, tears of joy run down my face.
wanting to be a good father to her.
not wanting to be just like all the other dads out there be all i can be for her .
be able to give her all her dreams an passions.
be able to see her walk for the frist time.
watch her look at me with them beautiful eyes watching me to see her take a step.
know that dady is there for her an will always be there for her.
daddy loves you an will never leave you baby girl.
listen to her say her frist word, pick her up when she falls an hurts her slef reaching up to me.
be by her side when she wakes up screaming from her very frist nightmare, to show her that care's bout her an will always protect her no matter what.
be a shoulder to cry on when she falls in love the very frist time an gets her heart broken.
not just to be her dad but also her bestfriend for ever.
but can i really do al this if i am so depressed. always running to my dark place to hide from the real world.
always putting a fake smile on my face.
talking an laughing only to please an make other people feel good bout them self's.
some say dont do it for other people but do it for ur self.
but when you are this far in a dark place for over 10 years its hard to not fake a smile or even really think bout what really makes you happy.
i jump relationship to relationship thinking im happy an in love. 3 moths later im with a diff girl telling her i love her thinking that its really.
my family have a hard time talking to me cause i push those i love away.
they think its cause i dont care.
not true cause i do care its just that i dont want them getting hurt at what they see if i do open up with them.
its just that i dont want any of them to br going through what i am going through right now.
its a very dark an lonely road to be on.
i just dont think i am suppose to be here right now.
i some times hope god would put his hands over me an end it all.
REST IN PEACE AN MUCH LOVE. WILL ALL YOUR LOST MEMORYS CARRY ON THROUGH OUT THE CENTURYS. I LOVE YOU ALL AN MISS YOU SO DEARLY.
EDNA SMITH, GORDAN R GARL, ROBIN SMITH, GORDAN A GARL, GRANDMA ROSES GARL, BUDDY, GREAT GRANDPA SHAW, BANDIT, GRANDPA SHAW, LYIDA TREVINO AN MANY MORE WILL ALWAYS MISS YOU ALL.
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
I'm sorry, I'm not deep enough to comment on poetry. Not that I'm a flake, it just...always seems to mean something different to me than it does to other people or to the writer and I end up looking like a dork. *shrugs - I'm totally one of those people who will BURST out laughing when no one else thinks shit is funny.