Well on Feb. 18th my house was flooded, now almost a month latter, resolution will be mine. I've been spending the past days building walls, painting surfaces, and organizing stuff in the physical world. In my mind I've been building relationships, painting scars, and organizing memories.
As I write this I'm sitting alone in an empty room that use to be my living room where in such a short time I've had so many wonderful experiences. Over the last few weeks I've grown nothing but contmept for this place almost to the point of hate. Now I feel sad and hollowed by this experience.
I'm looking for the joy in my new apartment with it's better view, and better light. An apartment custom built to my needs and that of my roommate's. But it does not come easy. I realize now that it has to be earned. I've spent the last two nights there and today will be the last time I return o my old place.
My point is that often I think as people we connect to our home environment in ways not describible in words. If that balance is broken our lives are broken until resolution can be found or accomplished. I've been in between for so long but life has contiued without me. Stuck on a subway platform with no trains stopping to take me anywhere as I watch others leave and return I feel misplaced.
Tonight I will compete in the SLAM at the Nuyorican Poets Cafe. It will be my public confessional, my testimonial of my past life as I reflect upon this one.
Walk In Peace, smile in Beauty.
As I write this I'm sitting alone in an empty room that use to be my living room where in such a short time I've had so many wonderful experiences. Over the last few weeks I've grown nothing but contmept for this place almost to the point of hate. Now I feel sad and hollowed by this experience.
I'm looking for the joy in my new apartment with it's better view, and better light. An apartment custom built to my needs and that of my roommate's. But it does not come easy. I realize now that it has to be earned. I've spent the last two nights there and today will be the last time I return o my old place.
My point is that often I think as people we connect to our home environment in ways not describible in words. If that balance is broken our lives are broken until resolution can be found or accomplished. I've been in between for so long but life has contiued without me. Stuck on a subway platform with no trains stopping to take me anywhere as I watch others leave and return I feel misplaced.
Tonight I will compete in the SLAM at the Nuyorican Poets Cafe. It will be my public confessional, my testimonial of my past life as I reflect upon this one.
Walk In Peace, smile in Beauty.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
keep up the good work.
I know what you mean about leaving a place. I've often felt that way when the last boxes are loaded and I'm about to lock the door for the last time. I always pause for a bit to let the images play one more time.