there's a problem.
i'm it.
i cant get lost in my thoughts anymore. they're too sad, too close to my heart. they get stuck. broken record.
my hair is tugged, my scalp is scratched - my nails are longer and it doesn't help the habit. there are liquidy pangs behind my eyeballs. some nights i have to unplug the drain and let them gush freely. it's not always safe...sometimes i lose the plug and they willnotstopwithouttheplug.
my chest was hijacked. the heart and its happiness are still at large. i feel lighter. lost; i have nothing to follow and no sense of direction.
my desire for touch is heightened. it's yearning for a strong hand to push down firmly on my shoulder. to hold mine; for laced fingers. pull me to towards the ground. Anchor, hold me. please. tighter, i'm lighter. and i've never been fond of heights.
i've decided that i'm too compassionate and that if such a trait could ever work against someone, it will work against me. i predict insanity within 10 years; a life with the weight of the world on my heart and the inevitable, unbearable ounce that will smoosh my most vital organ. pop. a bloody, pulsating mess.
but, i am not weak.
i'm it.
i cant get lost in my thoughts anymore. they're too sad, too close to my heart. they get stuck. broken record.
my hair is tugged, my scalp is scratched - my nails are longer and it doesn't help the habit. there are liquidy pangs behind my eyeballs. some nights i have to unplug the drain and let them gush freely. it's not always safe...sometimes i lose the plug and they willnotstopwithouttheplug.
my chest was hijacked. the heart and its happiness are still at large. i feel lighter. lost; i have nothing to follow and no sense of direction.
my desire for touch is heightened. it's yearning for a strong hand to push down firmly on my shoulder. to hold mine; for laced fingers. pull me to towards the ground. Anchor, hold me. please. tighter, i'm lighter. and i've never been fond of heights.
i've decided that i'm too compassionate and that if such a trait could ever work against someone, it will work against me. i predict insanity within 10 years; a life with the weight of the world on my heart and the inevitable, unbearable ounce that will smoosh my most vital organ. pop. a bloody, pulsating mess.
but, i am not weak.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
Yah three months together is pretty radical, especially since we've never spent more than 12 hours together in one stretch, but i'm reckless like that. Truthfully, i'm more concerned with liking her too much or having her fall in love with me than of us getting sick of each other. We're talking about it, and haven't come to a decision yet...
I just bought my ticket like three minutes ago! So it's a done deal. Leaving on Jan 12 and coming back on April 5.!
Me Scared
It sounds like your going through hell! Did something happen? Is this a slump that just won't quit? I've got ears if you need to vent....you've got the number
You have good taste in movies. I love all of them except I have never seen the godfather . I need to have a movie night and rent it.
Xx