bionicfemmex

Current Music: "Whoomp There It Is!" (There is no good reason for this.)

So I was riding the subway when a gaggle of giggling teenagers came onboard...they were swinging around their American Eagle bags. The boys keps making lame jokes and the women kept giggling.

I know some of them were farting.

Because the car began to stink.

I was sitting here thinking, "Can you stop laughing and farting at the same time? You've assaulted all of my senses even though i've attempted to block you out by blasting industrial music on my ipod whilst thinking of administering oral sex to a busty Puerto Rican femme. And it still hasn't helped me ignore you..."

So anyway, they kept cackling and flatulating until I got off at 24th and Mission. Ah, to be 16 again.

Then I got a really small, crappy, cheap TV just so I could play GTA: San Andreas. I didn't have a TV in my apartment so I needed one just to kill some hookers. Which I did a lot of, just to get the cash to buy my character cornrows.

How would I explain that to a cop? "Oh sorry officer...I was just blasting a cap in this ho's ass so I could look like THE MAN."

I think I hurt my arms verily though carrying the TV a few blocks...oh, if only I were a virile, masculine man, with inherently large balls. Think of the things I would be capable of.