So I woke up this morning to a FIRE because apparently when God is not trying to send me on dates with burglars, he's trying to LIGHT ME ON FIRE.
The fire alarm was going off in my building this morning. I thought, "Ah what the hell, someone just pulled the alarm. I'll get my discman and put on action movie music and run out of the building in slow motion while listening to it in my headphones, it'll be funny." So I get the discman and go out into the hall and the whole hall is blanketed in fog, and everything smells like something burning that's sweet. Some Japanese man ran out of his place with his pants around his ankles and yelled, "What the hell is going on here?" and I thought "Um, what were YOU doing when the fire started?"
So basically I jetted out of the building. It turned out some girl started a fire while trying to bake cookies. Thanks for putting us in danger, Betty Crocker! I am safe and so is my stuff, hurrah.
So last night me, Kat, Sara, and their friend Elana (sp?) hung out at Kat's place and never ended up going clubbing because we watched a bunch of strongbad emails on homestarrunner.com and laughed hysterically at them until 3am. Sara picked me up in a MOTORCYCLE! I was clutching onto her and very, very scared 'cause I have this paranoia of car accidents, but it was soooo fun. I leaned against a wall afterwards. "Oooooh." I said, holding my head and stomach. "Hmm, we gotta work on that butch thing, ya gotta be tougher." Sara said. Of course all the girls giggled at me when I came in with no makeup, a tie, and glasses. "Very nice try, femme." They said. "You look just like what you are; a femme trying to be butch." I laughed. "You're a FUTCH." Kat said. "Ew! A futch? Lord. I don't even like the sound of that word!" I started cracking up.
They fed me blueberries and ice cream and we sat around and talked about girls and gender identity and TEEN GIRL SQUAD with Kat screeching, "NO GOOD? OR SO GOOD?" at the top of her lungs and Elana teaching me all the dirty lyrics to Peaches songs. Sara walked around in a cowboy hat (
) and a beer, telling us in her southern accent that since she met Kat, her good cooking caused Kat to "sprout like a weed" to which Elana and I cracked up and started saying "sprout like a weed" with an exaggerated southern twang and hyuking.
They showed me pics of when all three of them dressed in drag and ran around the city dressed like men. Elana dressed like a 1920's gangster, Kat dressed like a dorky boy, and Sara dressed up in a POLICE OFFICER UNIFORM with the nametag "daddy" and called herself "Officer Troy." They went to a karaoke bar to sing boyband songs dressed up like men and introduced themselves as, "The boys."
I was so happy, to talk with other lesbians about their coming out stories, (which were very heartfelt; one could make a movie out of Sara's story), to talk about gender identity and to talk about bad luck in lesbian dating. When Kat tells me things will get better in a few years, I really believe her because she is a lesbian around my age who knows her shit. And wow, their friend Elana is sooooo cute. She looks "SO GOOD"!!!! lol. She's so femmey it's hard to tell if she's gay. Gah! I was blushing like a mofo and stuttering around her. Kat and Sara say she allegedly thinks I am cute too but i'm too shy over her fine ass, fo shizzle.
A couple of my friends from school told me about a lesbian friend of theirs who is an artist that has been exhibited at the moma. We hung out once at the butchies show a couple of months ago and we exchanged numbers. She called me today and we had a looooong talk about how we are both tortured artists who have such bad luck dating women because they get afraid of us being so passionate and honest with our affection. Both of us abhor the idea of going to the sex club and resent our friends telling us we need to sleep with more girls to get tougher skins. Both of us have been out for the same amount of time (two or three years) and have only slept with two girls. I like Heather (the artist), she is a good person. We both get so much shit being "The nice guy" in lesbian dating and totally bonded over it. We're gonna hang out tomorrow and cruise Valencia and bitch about women more. It'll be fun.
And on top of that, Grrlhavoc's lesbian friend Karen is moving back to California!!! I totally love Karen, she's an awesome person. We hung out a few times and had a lot of fun.
It looks like I will have a very cool cast of lesbians to hang out with at pride this year! I won't have to go alone! And I realized last night, after having so much fun with Kat and company, that this was what I really was searching for these past few years. Not a girlfriend.
Just lesbians I could be close to and talk to. Other people who were just like me so I didn't feel so alone. And I think you will ALL be pleased to know that as of now my whiny search for a girlfriend is over.
I don't feel a need for one any longer
The fire alarm was going off in my building this morning. I thought, "Ah what the hell, someone just pulled the alarm. I'll get my discman and put on action movie music and run out of the building in slow motion while listening to it in my headphones, it'll be funny." So I get the discman and go out into the hall and the whole hall is blanketed in fog, and everything smells like something burning that's sweet. Some Japanese man ran out of his place with his pants around his ankles and yelled, "What the hell is going on here?" and I thought "Um, what were YOU doing when the fire started?"
So basically I jetted out of the building. It turned out some girl started a fire while trying to bake cookies. Thanks for putting us in danger, Betty Crocker! I am safe and so is my stuff, hurrah.
So last night me, Kat, Sara, and their friend Elana (sp?) hung out at Kat's place and never ended up going clubbing because we watched a bunch of strongbad emails on homestarrunner.com and laughed hysterically at them until 3am. Sara picked me up in a MOTORCYCLE! I was clutching onto her and very, very scared 'cause I have this paranoia of car accidents, but it was soooo fun. I leaned against a wall afterwards. "Oooooh." I said, holding my head and stomach. "Hmm, we gotta work on that butch thing, ya gotta be tougher." Sara said. Of course all the girls giggled at me when I came in with no makeup, a tie, and glasses. "Very nice try, femme." They said. "You look just like what you are; a femme trying to be butch." I laughed. "You're a FUTCH." Kat said. "Ew! A futch? Lord. I don't even like the sound of that word!" I started cracking up.
They fed me blueberries and ice cream and we sat around and talked about girls and gender identity and TEEN GIRL SQUAD with Kat screeching, "NO GOOD? OR SO GOOD?" at the top of her lungs and Elana teaching me all the dirty lyrics to Peaches songs. Sara walked around in a cowboy hat (
) and a beer, telling us in her southern accent that since she met Kat, her good cooking caused Kat to "sprout like a weed" to which Elana and I cracked up and started saying "sprout like a weed" with an exaggerated southern twang and hyuking.
They showed me pics of when all three of them dressed in drag and ran around the city dressed like men. Elana dressed like a 1920's gangster, Kat dressed like a dorky boy, and Sara dressed up in a POLICE OFFICER UNIFORM with the nametag "daddy" and called herself "Officer Troy." They went to a karaoke bar to sing boyband songs dressed up like men and introduced themselves as, "The boys."
I was so happy, to talk with other lesbians about their coming out stories, (which were very heartfelt; one could make a movie out of Sara's story), to talk about gender identity and to talk about bad luck in lesbian dating. When Kat tells me things will get better in a few years, I really believe her because she is a lesbian around my age who knows her shit. And wow, their friend Elana is sooooo cute. She looks "SO GOOD"!!!! lol. She's so femmey it's hard to tell if she's gay. Gah! I was blushing like a mofo and stuttering around her. Kat and Sara say she allegedly thinks I am cute too but i'm too shy over her fine ass, fo shizzle.
A couple of my friends from school told me about a lesbian friend of theirs who is an artist that has been exhibited at the moma. We hung out once at the butchies show a couple of months ago and we exchanged numbers. She called me today and we had a looooong talk about how we are both tortured artists who have such bad luck dating women because they get afraid of us being so passionate and honest with our affection. Both of us abhor the idea of going to the sex club and resent our friends telling us we need to sleep with more girls to get tougher skins. Both of us have been out for the same amount of time (two or three years) and have only slept with two girls. I like Heather (the artist), she is a good person. We both get so much shit being "The nice guy" in lesbian dating and totally bonded over it. We're gonna hang out tomorrow and cruise Valencia and bitch about women more. It'll be fun.
And on top of that, Grrlhavoc's lesbian friend Karen is moving back to California!!! I totally love Karen, she's an awesome person. We hung out a few times and had a lot of fun.
It looks like I will have a very cool cast of lesbians to hang out with at pride this year! I won't have to go alone! And I realized last night, after having so much fun with Kat and company, that this was what I really was searching for these past few years. Not a girlfriend.
Just lesbians I could be close to and talk to. Other people who were just like me so I didn't feel so alone. And I think you will ALL be pleased to know that as of now my whiny search for a girlfriend is over.
I don't feel a need for one any longer
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That's good to hear. I'm glad you're starting to find some happiness again.