bionicfemme

My gay man friend came over...his latest boyfriend that he moved in with turned out to be a compulsive liar and into weird humiliation/torture sex that made my friend uncomfortable. He moved out of that guy's apartment and now that guy is threatening to sell all of his stuff and sue him if he doesn't move back in with him by tomorrow. We sighed and hugged for a long time while eating crepes...he is the only other gay person I know that has just as bad of luck with dating. "I will admit though, I like crazy people." He said. "You are a motherfucking psycho, girl. But in you, I see a gem. I see a gem right here. *poking me in heart* Your psychosis is hot."

Yes.

So then after we had dinner he went to his friend's house to smoke pot and I went to the beach to just lay there and figure out how to get out of this black hole in my life. Some woman from the Dominican Republic came up to me and talked about how much she loved America and I realized she was reading a book in Spanish that I had already read in English called, "The House on Mango Street." We talked about language and I realized what it is I like the most about life: I like to pay attention to the words people say. The way their mouth moves when they say it. How they use their mouths. But I DON'T like when people sit next to me on the bus and they talk to themselves!

I was sitting on the bus and, as usual, this guy with tourettes sat down next to me because in SF, you can't go for lunch, coffee, walk down the street, or take a shit without somebody sitting next to you talking to themselves.

"Volvo. Volvo-chan. Volvo. Volvo. Volvo" The man yelled. *Repeat for ten minutes.*
"RRRGAAAAH! FUUUUUCK!!!!" -Me, throwing down purse and clutching my head in agony. The man fixes his gaze at me.
"God save her. Save her. Save her. I want to buy her. I want to buy her. Buy her. BUY HER!!!! BUY HER!!!!" -Guy

The slithering demon siren succubus sex goddess awakened in my body and said:

"Hissss.

Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ahhhhh

Nails against flesh against nails against flesh against nails against flesh

Flesh
Flesh
Fle-eh-eh-eh-sh
F
Fl
Fle
Fles
Flesh. Flesh. Flesh. Flesh.

Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ahhhhh

Skin
Skinned.

Hisssss."

The bus stopped; I realized that everyone in SF who talks to themselves originally started out as a college student AND JUST NEVER LEFT.

And I came to a better realization.

I will not choose death.
I will not choose life.

I will choose to burn.