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billybillybilly

Vietnam

Member Since 2004

Followers 151 Following 188

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Sunday Mar 06, 2005

Mar 5, 2005
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ah.... if i could only type out the update i wrote on a scrap of paper in downtime at work... the world won't allow me this moment.

don't care about much but myself right now. watched everyone leave. everyone i hadn't anchored to me with stainless steel chains that is.

who are you?

for serious guys, i've not been there for all of you, but if i had, would you spit in my face for it?

jaime told me to take a break from "investing." and it's a good idea. wish i could be that way, but i'm not.

i hurt myself the other day. scar to prove it, and no one gave a fuck. and what do i give a fuck about? things i can't have, satisfaction i won't get. walk away. stop this horrible cycle of contacting me when i'm just getting over it.

and don't fucking beg me to see you when i'm reluctant to do so just to flake when i cave. that's fucking horrible.

when has it ever been about me?

it isn't. and with you it never will be, it never would be. don't kid me, stop kidding yourself. stop denying it. you were never there for me. em's been there for me. you could never follow that example. my family's been there for me, and that's a measure no one else has followed.

and no.

it's about you.

and it always will be. so turn over, and look at the person sleeping next to you, and have THEM make you okay.

i'm not your sanity. we never even TALK. why would you lay that burden on me when you can't even ask how i've been?
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
tinyelvis:
Hey Dood!
Whats going on? Hows the new place? ?
I've dropped your name as a photographer (I might take some also?) to Z. I have a lot of cool ideas with the theatre Stage I work at and the theatre lighting I have access to. So, just giving you a heads up.

More later

Mark
Mar 8, 2005
charlatan:
Being trampled on leaves marks. Recesses. It's hard to move again when you feel broken. Inside and out. You will come back together. You may never be the same, but, noone stays the some forever. No one.
Mar 8, 2005

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