Oh brother. Another fun filled weekend ahead, I woke up this morning with thoughts of suicide and the need to piss. Dragged my ass into the clinic, and bounced outta there feeling like a new man. It's almost sickening how much I notice this stranglehold... you never think its gonna happen, and then it does. Your not as free as you think you have free'd...
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Shits been real up in the air lately. Ive jsut been tryin to figure out what to do about the state that my life is in right now. This anxiety isnt helping anything either, so Im gonna try and see a psych to get some meds for when I have attacks, (which is pretty much daily). I'm working on a series of photoshopped photogra[hs that...
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argonautgod:
Sounds real intersting, look forward to seeing the pics.
Rock on!
Rock on!
"I still think about you all the time"
"Keep trying'
"because i want to see you have a long and happy life"
"I love you man" ( an IM with Rob Rasch)
It's nice to hear from a friend you havent seen since you were basically falling off the edge of the earth and very close to death. I miss all the people that were...
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"Keep trying'
"because i want to see you have a long and happy life"
"I love you man" ( an IM with Rob Rasch)
It's nice to hear from a friend you havent seen since you were basically falling off the edge of the earth and very close to death. I miss all the people that were...
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argonautgod:
Hey, man. Understand that history is history. The choices you've made -- they're done. Got to look forward. Always be looking forward. Dwelling on the past is an impediment (I spelled that right first time - yes! - sorry) to future progress.
Fuck problems, man. Fuck worrying about having them, just a massive waste of time. Deal with them with zero bullshit when you hit them and you'll realise, in perspective, how miniscule they really are.
And don't apologise for the heavy entries. This is your journal. You're not playing to an audience, you're sorting your own stuff out. Never apologise for that.
Take it easy, man. Hope you're doing better soon.
Fuck problems, man. Fuck worrying about having them, just a massive waste of time. Deal with them with zero bullshit when you hit them and you'll realise, in perspective, how miniscule they really are.
And don't apologise for the heavy entries. This is your journal. You're not playing to an audience, you're sorting your own stuff out. Never apologise for that.
Take it easy, man. Hope you're doing better soon.
Fuck I'm so fucking bored all the time. I feel like I completely missed the boat when it came with all the fucking interesting things to do in this lifetime. I used to have fun, I used to talk to people all the time and hang out all the time and go to shows and be active and intersting, and now all I do is...
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argonautgod:
I'm happy for you man.
Ah, same old shit. Went to the doc today. Should be getting disability till the end of feb cause im sick and cant go back to work till then. That's a bummer cause i actually like my job, and I hate sitting around the house all day with nothinou fuckers better start being my friend's so I have people to hang out with. Taking Ambien...
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Life's been bringin me down lately. (but what else is new right?) Besides getting sick three weeks ago and still not getting better (they think I might have Tuberculosis now) I dont really hasve anyone around to keep me company. I feel like all my old friends dont have anything to do with me anymore, I cant go out anywhere (like to shows or meetings)...
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rxqueen:
heya
This blackness thirves on weakness
Look on, ahead to the bleakness
A shadow hangs, looming
Overhead, only the darkness is soothing.
This grip I cannot escape
My life it's succeeded to take,
This grip I cannot shake
Death will be the escape.
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argonautgod:
Thanks for the bands man, I'm trying to 'acquire' (ho-ho) them as I type. Once I've got 'em I'll give you my opinions.
Check here if you ever need a laugh. The Roger Mellie cartoons are awesome.
Later man, be cool.
Check here if you ever need a laugh. The Roger Mellie cartoons are awesome.
Later man, be cool.
argonautgod:
Contravene is fecking cool. That's my Tonk Hawk music - if I'm playing Tony Hawk I've got that on in the b/g. I'm still getting Sea of Deprivation, although the Hell Hath No Fury is pretty good. I'll let you know when I've got it.
Stay frosty.
Stay frosty.
Fucking Snow. Blah. I hate not being able to get to bed early enough during the week. I have to get up at 630 every day, an dI'm up till 230 every night. I should get some sleeping pills. Then Ill sleep for sure. Anyway. Watched "Capturing the Friedmans" tonite. A documetnary about an "alleged" sex offender and his "alleged sex offender son. Alleged becuse...
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argonautgod:
Snow rules. So it brings places to a halt, bollocks to that. It's scenic.
Is the Noam Chomsky book him being interviewed or him doing the interviews?
Enjoy the labour.
Is the Noam Chomsky book him being interviewed or him doing the interviews?
Enjoy the labour.
Ah, Home sweet freezing home. I come home to my house, and the heat is on for once, so I was happy. Until I walked into my room. It's still like 15 degrees colder in here cause theres no heater in here. ONLY MY ROOM has no heat. I got fucked. So I bought a space heater, but the thing takes forever to heat the...
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argonautgod:
These journals are rteally great. The ideal place to spout off bollocks that's on the mind while having naked chicks a click away. It's genius I keep reminding myself.
Moan away anytime, man. I'm usually reading.
Moan away anytime, man. I'm usually reading.
eh, I'm done being pissed off now.
Fuck I'm reminded why I moved out of my mother's house 7 years ago. The woman is just unbearable. And selfish. The list could go on and on. Not only have I been sick as shit with double pneumonia, but consequently I've been out of work for the last 2 1/2 weeks as well. And I was really sick, almost hospitalized and almost dead... So...
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archi:
Money and family sucks dude. I had to borrow some cash a while back from my parents when my soon to be ex crack-whore of a wife stopped paying any bills and neglected to tell me until we were 3 months behind on just about everything. I've since cleaned everything up and paid them back, but OMFG having to borrow cash from your folks when you're 30+ is lame in the extreme.
Pay it back, set up an emergency stash and move on. You can't change people and if that's a point of contention, structure your life in a way so it never becomes an issue again.
Pay it back, set up an emergency stash and move on. You can't change people and if that's a point of contention, structure your life in a way so it never becomes an issue again.
billybeer:
Yeah, definitly. That's the only option I have at this point. I was jsut bitching cause I was pissed off. It;s not that big of a deal.
Hope you're feeling way better now.