billenium

So here is my dilemma: I want to buy the video store at which I work. But I have about two thousand dollars to my name, (to say nothing of my complete inability to manage money since I have practically no expenses worth mentioning and have been working for about seven years under these conditions. So where the fuck is all my money?) and no collateral to speak of. So my options are to try and scrape and beg a loan from a bank, or scrape and beg a loan from family members. Of course the ugly truth is that it doesn't look like the buisness could easily pay these loans in addition to the payments I would have to make to my former boss in the time span of the lease. Now several of my friends have suggested I continue to entertain this course. But given the volatle state of the DVD/VHS rental buisness world, with the competition of newfangled technologies like On Demand rentals through your digital cable provider and the evergrowing Netflix juggernaught not to mention the overwelming ignorance of the masses regarding DVD's and flat out refusal of some to adapt to this obviously superior format, the future of such a buisness is questionable at best. I am not a buisnessman. I am a basically a glorified clerk with some very inconsistent managerial responsabilities. So my confidence in this endevour is shakey to begin with. But it is potentially a great oppurtunity, especially for a lazy slug like me who can't be bothered to go out and find a real job or return to school to learn a worthwhile skill. So back to the beginning again and so on and so on. I'm running myself around in circles about this shit. Mostly I am tempted to say "fuck it" and waste my life with video games and an endless string of low paying register-runner jobs where I will be abused by vaccationing (and locals, because a lot of them are assholes too. And they don't leave for the winter) shitheads who think that being on the customer side of a counter gives them the right to belittle and abuse the staff of a given establishment, until I fade into an unpleasent greasy stain on my couch, becoming one with the force (the force in this case being an unpleasent afterlife filled with unriquited love, guilty memories, missed oppurtunities, and bad decisions) As you may be able to tell, I don't have a lot of faith in that particular outcome. But the uncertainty of the Video Store venture, in addition to my own inertia (which I use to describe my tendency to stay in one situation untill something unmentionable forces me to make some kind of change. Sorry if the definition was unnecissary) makes me wonder, very hard, if there are any other options. Mostly this is here just to vent, but if anybody has any suggestions I'm all ears.

So I guess that's it for me for tonight. Sorry this one is no fun, but I'm not feeling very fun tonight. Fingers crossed for tomorrow, okay? Nobody reads them anyway...