11 Reasons Why You're Better Than Poo
Poo never listens to me reading stories to it over the phone
Poo doesn't read to me, either
Poo never laughs with delight at my drunken or tired musings
Poo doesn't have a smile that makes me wanna flap my arms and fly to it
Poo will never hang out with me in the blissful silence of mutual contentment
Poo is not a good cuddle companion
Poo does not snore in a soft, gentle way that lightens my mood and lets me sleep
Poo doesn't have a warm hand to hold
Poo doesn't light a fire in my loins with just a look or a word
Poo doesn't light a fire in my loins at all
Poo Is a part of me that I don't need, you're a part of me I'll want forever
Poo never listens to me reading stories to it over the phone
Poo doesn't read to me, either
Poo never laughs with delight at my drunken or tired musings
Poo doesn't have a smile that makes me wanna flap my arms and fly to it
Poo will never hang out with me in the blissful silence of mutual contentment
Poo is not a good cuddle companion
Poo does not snore in a soft, gentle way that lightens my mood and lets me sleep
Poo doesn't have a warm hand to hold
Poo doesn't light a fire in my loins with just a look or a word
Poo doesn't light a fire in my loins at all
Poo Is a part of me that I don't need, you're a part of me I'll want forever
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Merde.
Poo reads to me, sometimes. But its breath stinks.