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bekiii

Sunny Surrey

Member Since 2005

Followers 28 Following 33

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Thursday Jun 22, 2006

Jun 22, 2006
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I just realised something frightening.

Despite not ever going for that long without sex and getting a fair few smutty messages now and then Im absolutely hopeless when it comes to the opposite sex. Rubbish. I havent got a clue.

I dont really have boyfriends, there are men that I see now and then, sometimes we hold hands, its nice. When Im in relationships I panic, I get terrified. I cant help but think about all those people that Im missing out on seeing and about how Mr Perfect could be just around the corner.

Its easy to talk someone into bed, I know how to do that. I have no idea how to get someone to genuinely like me, I think I just start off wrong. Ive been trying to meet men in pubs and clubs but theyre all too young or too ugly.

I dont know what on earth to do with myself. I havent exchanged I love yous with anybody for almost five years. FIVE YEARS! I wonder whats happened to me since then. Its not that I havent been in love, I was hopelessly in love with a boy that lived three and a half thousand miles away so it didnt work out.

People around me fall into relationships and are happy. Perhaps Im too choosy, well, Im definitely too choosy.

Ive made a little list of requirements.
1. Boy must be of indie rock persuasion
2. He must be able to put up with drinking, smoking and vegetarianism


So what do I do? Do I compromise and perhaps learn to love someone or do I just keep hanging on, upsetting myself over and over and over again in my quest?

In other news.... I got a 2:1 for my degree!!! I'm over the moon :-D
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
kandyk:
i know exactly what u mean...i often pretend to love boys,just cause its easier to say it then make an issue out of not saying it.i dunno...
just stay as you are lady,dont change your standards,you'll just end up with a prick,
besides...all my mates that are in relationships are bloody miserable!they just argue all the time and never go out...im all for being single,sleepin around and havin the tv remote all to myself!!!hehe
xx
Jun 26, 2006
molar:
2:1!!! Brilliantest!! biggrin

Hang in there gal, I know how you feel... I am fine with casual, soon as it steps up a gear, I freak, yet would love to find that 'special someone'.... The 19 year old is hanging on tight at the moment, I met his parents and am trying not to be a bitch... smile

Think of it like learning to ride a bike. Well, we can ride, we can do all the tricks wink, we just haven't passed our riding sensibly 'cycling proficiency test' yet...

I felt kinda down about it all, but now I feel pretty positive. I never married so far, never had kids... Whoever it works out with, I get to do all that stuff for the first time. I rather do that now, in my thirties now I know my own mind much more.

kiss kiss
Jul 5, 2006

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