I used to be an avid blogger. Not a day (maybe 2 days) went by without me writing updates on the very boring life I'm currently leading. I'm going to try to get back into logging my daily happenings... but I can't promise that it'll actually happen.
I can't really say that my life is boring these days... it has dramatically changed with the passing of each season. I feel like just yesterday I was still in California.. but yesterday it was not. I've already passed the 2 year residence mark, and I know that it really is a good chunk of time to be away. A lot of life can happen in 2 years.. I know there are a lot of changes that you've all underwent that don't seem major when they're happening but can turn into night and day differences when they're consolidated. New haircut here, new car, new boyfriend... loss of friends and loved ones. These type of occurances happen to us every day and mold us into the people we once were and will become. This is what also separates us from one another.
Separation can be really depressing if you dwell on it. When I initially moved out-of-state.. I was a wreck. Not a day went by that I didn't call my family.. and most of the time I didn't have anything to talk about.. I just wanted to be close. You miss knowing when your friends and family take a day off work, or when your newborn nephew eats anything that isn't formula for the first time. I feel as though I'm at a serious disadvantage for being so far away. This has helped me grow as an individual but it has also hurt some relationships. I have a 2 year old nephew (in case you didn't already know) and I've only met him twice, both for short periods. How sad is it that I will never have a close relationship with him? It's even more unfortunate that I don't realy have a relationship with his mother, my sister. I'm not at fault for the rift, but she isn't either. Our communication styles are just different and I don't think I can handle her negativity with where I am in life right now. I'm sure one day we'll reconnect.
Harboring resentment is a horrible thing we humans do and there is no benefit for your soul when you can't let go of the past. I have this problem. I need to remember that the person I am today is not the person I once was and I need to forgive those who hurt me, regardless of the circumstance. I'm working on it. There are family members, friends, past lovers, youth pastors and even acquantances that have passed through my life. I love them all for everything that they've taught me and I love myself for everything I've learned. I wouldn't be as open with my physique and sexuality if it wasn't for the times I was used and taken advantage of. Although that's hurtful for me to admit.. I'm coming to the realization that all bad things in life aren't necessarily bad. Karma does go around and come around but it's all for good reason regardless of if it feels that way when it's happening. Light can only shine through darkness and sometimes you have to fall completely to your knees before you let anyone (god?) pick you back up again.
2008 is a year for rebirth. 2008 is a year for accomplishment and productivity. 2008 is a priveledge, not a right. I hope everyone in myspace land appreciates our world for the beauty it provides us daily. The beauty of nature, friendship, irony, growth.
I can't really say that my life is boring these days... it has dramatically changed with the passing of each season. I feel like just yesterday I was still in California.. but yesterday it was not. I've already passed the 2 year residence mark, and I know that it really is a good chunk of time to be away. A lot of life can happen in 2 years.. I know there are a lot of changes that you've all underwent that don't seem major when they're happening but can turn into night and day differences when they're consolidated. New haircut here, new car, new boyfriend... loss of friends and loved ones. These type of occurances happen to us every day and mold us into the people we once were and will become. This is what also separates us from one another.
Separation can be really depressing if you dwell on it. When I initially moved out-of-state.. I was a wreck. Not a day went by that I didn't call my family.. and most of the time I didn't have anything to talk about.. I just wanted to be close. You miss knowing when your friends and family take a day off work, or when your newborn nephew eats anything that isn't formula for the first time. I feel as though I'm at a serious disadvantage for being so far away. This has helped me grow as an individual but it has also hurt some relationships. I have a 2 year old nephew (in case you didn't already know) and I've only met him twice, both for short periods. How sad is it that I will never have a close relationship with him? It's even more unfortunate that I don't realy have a relationship with his mother, my sister. I'm not at fault for the rift, but she isn't either. Our communication styles are just different and I don't think I can handle her negativity with where I am in life right now. I'm sure one day we'll reconnect.
Harboring resentment is a horrible thing we humans do and there is no benefit for your soul when you can't let go of the past. I have this problem. I need to remember that the person I am today is not the person I once was and I need to forgive those who hurt me, regardless of the circumstance. I'm working on it. There are family members, friends, past lovers, youth pastors and even acquantances that have passed through my life. I love them all for everything that they've taught me and I love myself for everything I've learned. I wouldn't be as open with my physique and sexuality if it wasn't for the times I was used and taken advantage of. Although that's hurtful for me to admit.. I'm coming to the realization that all bad things in life aren't necessarily bad. Karma does go around and come around but it's all for good reason regardless of if it feels that way when it's happening. Light can only shine through darkness and sometimes you have to fall completely to your knees before you let anyone (god?) pick you back up again.
2008 is a year for rebirth. 2008 is a year for accomplishment and productivity. 2008 is a priveledge, not a right. I hope everyone in myspace land appreciates our world for the beauty it provides us daily. The beauty of nature, friendship, irony, growth.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
Click for video