Hello my loves <3
happy Valentines day! i hope youve used today to show love and appreciation to those you care about. i feel like people easily lose sight of the fact that valentines day can extend beyond a significant other. spread the love my friends!
here's a little Valentines Day present. a Preview from a little set/project/experiment that is really far away. have not decided what the end result will be yet. but keep your eyes open!.
I noticed in a couple blogs that @missy asked us girls to talk about what made us want to become Suicide Girls. For me, Its started back when i was about 14 or so. I was and still am incredibly introverted and sky. Ive also been struggling with major depression since i was about 12. In some way or other i came across SG. im pretty sure it was through a magazine feature or something but to be honest i dont remember. I do remember being at a low point as a teen, feeling really awkward about myself, my looks, my weight.... And i instantly felt a sense of being okay with who I was. kind of punky and edgy, not a traditional beauty by any means..... seeing all of these stunning girls who were unique and owning who they were... it profoundly effected my idea of beautiful. years later i revisited SG through online research. this was about the time that i was deeply concerned with the concept of owning your own sexuality. I was realizing that it was normal to be sexual, to want sex, to OWN my sexuality instead of letting it be dictated by others. and to know that it was OKAY. and then a couple years ago, i came to a place of pure acceptance of myself. I began to really feel like i owned my sexuality and my being. I was in a stable place in so many ways. and so i took the leap. I wanted to continue my journey of confidence and self discovery in a new way, and to explore ways to overcome my depression and all of the baggage that comes along with it. and i wanted to inspire others. and here I am. <3
school and homework has been steadily going along. not too much to add to that, other than i finally got the date for my graduation! may 18th!!! ridiculously exciting to have an official date to look forward to.
im with the boyfriend now, but i spent the day with my BFF which was SOOO needed. ive missed her like crazy. i feel bad because we always end up talking about her boyfriend and the fact that he's a bum who needs to get his shit together, but it is clearly cathartic for her, and i understand and respect that. its just unfortunate. we still had a great time as always. i just wish the topic of conversation wasnt always negatively about him. and i dont like having to walk this fine line. i dont want to trash my best friend's man, but at the same time, im not going to lie to her and support it. especially when i believe that he's not just a bad boyfriend, but actually effecting her directly mentally emotionally and financially. its a long story. i just worry about her.
i have a killer headache. :(
ive been watching the olympics. yay sports! USA! USA! USA! haha. i do love it. i love sports and competition.
anyways, im off to enjoy my night! <3
until next time
<3B
