So my dear heart comes home for lunch and we have a good old fashioned afternoon delight... As I am replacing my pants I get a charley horse in my upper inner thigh. If you have never experienced this before you are lucky because it hurts like hell... the pain eventually ebbs and I am able to limp around and get on with my day.
About an hour later I get another charley horse... This time in BOTH upper inner thighs. So there I was moaning on the couch with tears streaming down my face... Luckily, my 5 year old was playing on the computer and didn't witness this or she surely would have gotten my phone and dialed 9-1-1 because at this point I wasn't able to form words... The dogs on the other hand were not so lucky... So, here I am rocking back and forth on the couch and my dog Barney Fife thinks that if he gets his tongue in my mouth it will make all the pain go away. It doesn't. So as I am now fending off a 100lb dog and my muscles are trying to tear themselves from my body, I wonder if anyone has ever died from this before or if I am gonna be the first person... I don't die and those charley horses finally ease after about 16 months and now my thighs are so sore I can hardly walk. I still think, I HAVE to go to the gym (doughnuts this weekend, remember?). I am in the bathroom brushing my hair when I get struck by charley horses in my upper arms... At this point I thought FUCK the gym. I remembered that my mom-in-law used to get these when her potassium was low so I went in search of a banana... None to be found so I went to Walgreen's and bought some damn Potassium tablets... and pretzel m&ms ( I know....) I am so damn sore, I feel like I had my ass kicked by Morio Higaonna. And my dogs are following me around whining. Yay me!
About an hour later I get another charley horse... This time in BOTH upper inner thighs. So there I was moaning on the couch with tears streaming down my face... Luckily, my 5 year old was playing on the computer and didn't witness this or she surely would have gotten my phone and dialed 9-1-1 because at this point I wasn't able to form words... The dogs on the other hand were not so lucky... So, here I am rocking back and forth on the couch and my dog Barney Fife thinks that if he gets his tongue in my mouth it will make all the pain go away. It doesn't. So as I am now fending off a 100lb dog and my muscles are trying to tear themselves from my body, I wonder if anyone has ever died from this before or if I am gonna be the first person... I don't die and those charley horses finally ease after about 16 months and now my thighs are so sore I can hardly walk. I still think, I HAVE to go to the gym (doughnuts this weekend, remember?). I am in the bathroom brushing my hair when I get struck by charley horses in my upper arms... At this point I thought FUCK the gym. I remembered that my mom-in-law used to get these when her potassium was low so I went in search of a banana... None to be found so I went to Walgreen's and bought some damn Potassium tablets... and pretzel m&ms ( I know....) I am so damn sore, I feel like I had my ass kicked by Morio Higaonna. And my dogs are following me around whining. Yay me!
Q: What do you call a fly without wings?
A: A Walk.
Did that make you laugh? I hope so. Anyhow. That was my efforts. I hope it wasn't an epic fail. Good luck with the charley horses. Due to my disability I have spasticity and charley horses almost daily and very frequently. So I know how painful they can be.