battalioness

Ok, Hi again.

I broke up with my boyfriend tonight. It was weird, mainly because I'd been thinking about it all day and had little scenarios in my head of what would happen, and he reacted in such an unexpected way that it really got to me.

I feel terrible, too. I don't think he had any idea it was coming, and although things have been the slightest bit rocky for a month or so (or at least, that's how I felt) it wasn't really anything that he did that led to my decision. I've just been having revelation after revelation recently and I KNOW that I need 'me' time and that I just want to get out of this place and move forward, discovering things about myself as I go. And I decided I couldn't do this when I felt dependent on someone else.

Sure, it's selfish, but I just know it's what I need right now. If I keep placing myself in situations where there's no room for personal growth I'll never live the way I want to live.

Instead of doing anything, he took the nip with me. Not in a raging shouting match, but in a snidey and really hurtful way. Gave me the ol' 'I'll see you around, then' as he left, to which I said not a thing.

Still, one thing that's keeping me going is this new prospect of good things on the horizon. Come September or October I hope to be out of the house and in my own little flat (which I've still to find) working away on my uni work harder than I ever have before. I'm really going to go all out this year and get me where I need to be.

As gay as it sounds; The only way is up.