Well guys, I was hoping it wouldn't come to this but times are tough and it looks like I'm going to have to auction myself off to a suicide girl beacause I really need the money....So we'll start the bidding at $5,000........ok do I hear $500?
..................maybe $5?
..................maybe $5?

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Err, what happens when she's a film student and wants to use you to recreate a scene from Deliverance?