...well i thought that perhaps i should write something here again while i actually have five mins to do so. Just to let those who know me that i am still alive and all.
Its all go at the moment, i don't really get time for much..., my spare time is spent reading, or listening to music.. the reading keeps me sane and provides me with some sort of escape from my currently dull repetative" life?" (i think existance is perhaps a more suitable word), and i listen to lots of music anyway because i am a music junkie, and you can listen to music while doing other things..i.e.getting ready for another evening of work.
I think i might be adjusting alittle bit to the night shifts now (well my body is....i think), which is good, although first and last shift of the week are always hard.I am beginning to question my own sanity though (seriously..,i know i have always been alittle weird, but this is the real deal i think..lol) The only person that i can actually socialise with on any level is my younger sister, and thats just casual brother and sister chit chat, nothing mentally stimulating or engaging.So this has resulted in me having conversations with myself (yes i really am turning into gollum i think).., this is indeed very worrying.I am also getting strange bouts of paranoia occasionally on shift..,constantly thinking that i am seeing things in the corner of my eye.Oh...and i am not sleeping properly either. haha, the other day i jumped out of bed at around 10am (i get into bed around 9.00- 9.30ish) convinced that i had overslept and that i was due in work in half an hour..i ran out of my room in panic, which was heightened when i realised that nobody was in the house .."where the hell is everybody?" i thought to myself.. it was then that i realised that it was in fact still daylight outside and with that in mind i ran back to my room and checked my clock realising that it read 10.00...and not 22.00.At the time i didn't think much of it, i just went back to sleep, but the next day i thought..."shit..., i am bloody loosing it"...and i am, i think.I have pretty much one day a week where i start to feel relatively normal, and thats the day i am due back in work for the next week of hell. Funny that...,bloody hi-larious!...anyway, i have worked out that i have probably only another six or seven weeks left of this hell, then i can afford a new camera and attempt to find another job (preferably a 9-5 i think), ofcourse, ideally i would like to get out of here to, but i have pretty much nowhere to go, so i can't.
I think that personal mission number 2, is going to be to reclaim my sanity, or at least part of it..,and to contemplate my life and the possible options that i have for the future...like"what is it that you would like to do with your life?"...yeh.,thats a good one.
Its all go at the moment, i don't really get time for much..., my spare time is spent reading, or listening to music.. the reading keeps me sane and provides me with some sort of escape from my currently dull repetative" life?" (i think existance is perhaps a more suitable word), and i listen to lots of music anyway because i am a music junkie, and you can listen to music while doing other things..i.e.getting ready for another evening of work.
I think i might be adjusting alittle bit to the night shifts now (well my body is....i think), which is good, although first and last shift of the week are always hard.I am beginning to question my own sanity though (seriously..,i know i have always been alittle weird, but this is the real deal i think..lol) The only person that i can actually socialise with on any level is my younger sister, and thats just casual brother and sister chit chat, nothing mentally stimulating or engaging.So this has resulted in me having conversations with myself (yes i really am turning into gollum i think).., this is indeed very worrying.I am also getting strange bouts of paranoia occasionally on shift..,constantly thinking that i am seeing things in the corner of my eye.Oh...and i am not sleeping properly either. haha, the other day i jumped out of bed at around 10am (i get into bed around 9.00- 9.30ish) convinced that i had overslept and that i was due in work in half an hour..i ran out of my room in panic, which was heightened when i realised that nobody was in the house .."where the hell is everybody?" i thought to myself.. it was then that i realised that it was in fact still daylight outside and with that in mind i ran back to my room and checked my clock realising that it read 10.00...and not 22.00.At the time i didn't think much of it, i just went back to sleep, but the next day i thought..."shit..., i am bloody loosing it"...and i am, i think.I have pretty much one day a week where i start to feel relatively normal, and thats the day i am due back in work for the next week of hell. Funny that...,bloody hi-larious!...anyway, i have worked out that i have probably only another six or seven weeks left of this hell, then i can afford a new camera and attempt to find another job (preferably a 9-5 i think), ofcourse, ideally i would like to get out of here to, but i have pretty much nowhere to go, so i can't.
I think that personal mission number 2, is going to be to reclaim my sanity, or at least part of it..,and to contemplate my life and the possible options that i have for the future...like"what is it that you would like to do with your life?"...yeh.,thats a good one.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
With no sleep the mind is a troubling place too be...
I know iv'e been there...
You can' t be gollum youve don't have a ring to obsess over...
Thought you might like to know that Alex & I have now moved in with Nelle. Al seems happy with his new lady. Not seen much of him however.
God has no words of wisdom too give...
But I can tell you that, if need to escape form the valleys of the green & the grey..you can come here where very here is with me.
ps watch XXX with vin deisel in it. man it's a bad film very bad.
Jus remember, it's all fun n games, personally I don't view things as good or bad, just as one kind of experience or another.... I too am workin nights all the f**kin time, i love my job though..... Still makes me a night person and daylight is remarkably novel..... lol!
Hang in there man, be cool and drop me a line anytime, always good to chat to you
Word