audreyheartburn

Yep. My dog is a leading leader of leadership. I just got a promotion.

Yeeaaaaw.

And I'm kinda back on substances.

Adam--thanks for the title. I'm uh on it!

I miss my terror twin and I think I'm starting to miss my beer belly.

Plus, I hate the fucking fact that I'm not in New York right now.

Think it's time to watch porn for the rest of the night and chainsmoke.

Has anyone else seen "Those Young Girls" starring a VERY young Traci Lords and a less coked-out Ginger Lynn?

The music is...
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I kinda miss my drug problem.

A quick conversation with my friend.

me: you know whats funny? when youre bumping coke until like 6 am and then the sun comes up and you really want to go watch the sun come up, but you never quite get around to it
justin: hahaha
me: you then spend the rest of the day in some weird fetal...
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Wow, thanks for all the nice comments and birthday wishes. Sorry I don't update this sucker more often.

The pros:
I have a job. It's a good job. I get to wear fancy suits every single day.
I lost about 30 lbs...mainly due to not drinking and staying away from meat.
I'm blonde now.

The cons:
I could use a drink.
I feel like a...
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I'm so fucking bored. I hate Ventura. Now I'm reminded why I moved away.

napoleon dynamite...rushmore with mormons?

Okay, so my former housemate had this crazy pic of some girl inserting an eggplant in her vag. When I first saw it, I was pretty amazed. I think that amazement turned to disgust, but this morning, in the few hours I slept, I dreamt that I gave birth to an eggplant.
It was probably really cute.

Ack ack ack...stop sending me crazy drunken e-mails, you fool.

Whoa, I had no idea this thing had a blog feature. I need to stop smoking pot.