I feel pretty confident I am not going to New Orleans. I was hoping to go there to find a place to move to -- a city where Voodoo Practitioner is a semi-legitimate career seemed appealing -- but it's way too pricy and scary there, and apparently too hard to find places that are appropriate, so there doesn't seem like any point. The notion of trying to just make the best of things and go for fun struck me, but that will be probably $1,000 to just stay half a week and fly back to Los Angeles, so that isn't reasonable. The better investment is to just cut my losses at the $230 plane ticket.
There are people who don't have all these stupid problems and responsibilities I do and who can therefore just pack up carefree and live someplace for a month. I am not one of them. I have horrible, painful cystic acne that's only controlled by expensive medicine that needs to stay refrigerated and by impeccable cleanliness of all sheets and towels. This means I need access to refrigeration and laundry unless I want to be sore and itchy and be back to having people stop me on the street to offer their advice on lame home remedies to me. (Not to mention that would mean having to start fresh with my home microderms trying to get rid of the pox-scarring all over again.) Then I have an internet business I need to keep running*, so I need wifi and a place to burn incense and a stable mailing address. I don't know how to drive and will never be able to afford a car, so I need to be walking distance to either good public transport or to every kind of store I'm likely to need. And I only make around $500 a month so I need to live somewhere that costs less than that.
*Or alternately shut down entirely, ending my sole source of income with it.
I have until about July 4th to find something: I am in my dead grandma's house in Los Angeles right now, and it's already been sold; I think the 8th is the day the place needs to be vacated by. I am never going to New Mexico again; I honestly regret that I didn't kill myself in Minnesota and that I went back to NM for those awful 3.5 months. Los Angeles is too expensive to stay in and frankly I'm not at all impressed with the place anymore; 10 years ago I'd have killed to live out here, but now the energy is that same idle hopeless one that Albuquerque has; only it costs more than Albuquerque. No one I've seen here seems to be thriving; the only folks doing well are the same ones who were already rich 20 years ago.
I gave up about 3 or 4 years ago on ever finding a "job" as in an employer. I rarely get called to interviews and they never go well when I do (and as we discovered in Minnesota, it's not just a New Mexico thing.) I think all that's left is for me to find either a place to become a hobo or figure out some religious order to be a nun for.
There are people who don't have all these stupid problems and responsibilities I do and who can therefore just pack up carefree and live someplace for a month. I am not one of them. I have horrible, painful cystic acne that's only controlled by expensive medicine that needs to stay refrigerated and by impeccable cleanliness of all sheets and towels. This means I need access to refrigeration and laundry unless I want to be sore and itchy and be back to having people stop me on the street to offer their advice on lame home remedies to me. (Not to mention that would mean having to start fresh with my home microderms trying to get rid of the pox-scarring all over again.) Then I have an internet business I need to keep running*, so I need wifi and a place to burn incense and a stable mailing address. I don't know how to drive and will never be able to afford a car, so I need to be walking distance to either good public transport or to every kind of store I'm likely to need. And I only make around $500 a month so I need to live somewhere that costs less than that.
*Or alternately shut down entirely, ending my sole source of income with it.
I have until about July 4th to find something: I am in my dead grandma's house in Los Angeles right now, and it's already been sold; I think the 8th is the day the place needs to be vacated by. I am never going to New Mexico again; I honestly regret that I didn't kill myself in Minnesota and that I went back to NM for those awful 3.5 months. Los Angeles is too expensive to stay in and frankly I'm not at all impressed with the place anymore; 10 years ago I'd have killed to live out here, but now the energy is that same idle hopeless one that Albuquerque has; only it costs more than Albuquerque. No one I've seen here seems to be thriving; the only folks doing well are the same ones who were already rich 20 years ago.
I gave up about 3 or 4 years ago on ever finding a "job" as in an employer. I rarely get called to interviews and they never go well when I do (and as we discovered in Minnesota, it's not just a New Mexico thing.) I think all that's left is for me to find either a place to become a hobo or figure out some religious order to be a nun for.
ihsv1683:
you've probably heard it all before...but, don't give up.....these things take time to get off the ground, be patient and keep on fighting!! Situations will change!!
oldernow:
I loved Diva so much I bought the soundtrack asap, and when it finally became available on VHS I bought that too. it is a perfect film, visually, emotionally, and the music - everything from the diva to the accordion music that the ice-pick guy is always listening to. and yes, I was thinking of that scene where "Super-Jules" takes his tape recorder into the auditorium... and that scene where all his tapes are festooned everywhere when I was writing this.