I feel like I need to drop some thoughts on here, I think it's a good place to do that.
I'm still in Montreal, I had some great times so far and tonight's gonna be a lot of fun too, I'm going to show, then to a party.
I hate food and a love it. I think that's very stupid, but I'm surely not the only woman feeling like that about food. I really enjoy cooking and eating, but I sometimes have that feeling of guiltiness, and it's mostly pointless. I feel like I'm not eating good or too much. I know that shouldn't stress me since I'm thin and it doesn't happen often, but still, I can't help it, I think about it. Why do we have to stress about that. Why do I stress so much about being/staying thin but I see some women that aren't that thin and to me they are very beautiful, that's kindda stupid. I'm perfectionist, I'll accept and encourage people to not be "perfect" like peoples in magazines and on TV but at the same time, I'm trying to be the best. Feeling like I'm not good if I'm not the best, like I'm not pretty if I am not the prettiest. That sucks, at least I know it and I'm trying to work on it.
Also, I get pissed of guys who wanna get laid with me. You go somewhere, they look at you, and you see by the way they do it that they are fucking you in their heads. You know what I mean? I read somewhere that it's a kind of rape, that way of acting through women. I know I ain't perfect, but I know I deserve more than just being fucked around. You know sometimes when those dudes look at you, sometimes I feel like spiting on them and start yelling '" yo dude, I've got brains". I'm not saying that I don't like sex, I know I love it, but not all the time and with everybody. And I truly know that I don't wanna spend my life being fucked. There's not better sex than the one you have with someone you love and who loves you back. I know I deserve more than that. I don't wanna feel "less" because sex is what a lot of dudes are looking for. Don't get me wrong, I ain't saying that sex is the only thing all the guys want. No, far from that. But I'd like to meet someone from time to time who'd talk to me not thinking about how to get inside of me. That's funny, when I was younger my dad told me: "you're pretty ***** don't let the wolves eat you". Now I understand what he meant.
All the girls should remember that: you don't need to fuck a guy to please him. Your sexuality is your own, you do what you feel like doing, don't do stuff to please. Don't fuck a guy thinking he'll love you after. Don't get laid either to feel like you're pretty or smart, you don't need that. I used to say I'm feminist and people would look at me in a weird way and I'd answer: being feminist means that women should be equals to men, not superiors, not inferiors, just fucking equals. In that world, women wouldn't be shy to tell that guy " I wanna get laid", she wouldn't be called a slut either. Why would guys be able to fuck more than us? I think that the actually women's worth enemy is woman itself. The woman who tried to please dudes, the one who feel like she needs to fuck him to be love by him, the one who need to be fuck to think she's pretty, smart and deserve to be respected. You don't need that. Respect yourself and your desires. This world is totally fucked up, we say that we're advanced, modern, but all I see are women hiding themselves, behind a shell, shy of their desires.
I'll stop complaining. But I'll finish with that: be true to yourself and to your friends, the few ones, cause they are the ones who will remain no matter what. Do the same with your family if you're close. Don't waste your time with people talk shitting too, stabbing you in the back, don't waste your energy on them "cause in the end they are no help to you.
And remember that girls: you have the power of life (children) you are mostly able to do what we called in the past "women works" and the past "men works" . Isn't that wonderful? Take your stand.
hahahahaha
Man, I need to calm down. Thanks for reading my bullshit if you did.
Happy New Year to everybody, have a lot of fun!
xoxox
I'm still in Montreal, I had some great times so far and tonight's gonna be a lot of fun too, I'm going to show, then to a party.
I hate food and a love it. I think that's very stupid, but I'm surely not the only woman feeling like that about food. I really enjoy cooking and eating, but I sometimes have that feeling of guiltiness, and it's mostly pointless. I feel like I'm not eating good or too much. I know that shouldn't stress me since I'm thin and it doesn't happen often, but still, I can't help it, I think about it. Why do we have to stress about that. Why do I stress so much about being/staying thin but I see some women that aren't that thin and to me they are very beautiful, that's kindda stupid. I'm perfectionist, I'll accept and encourage people to not be "perfect" like peoples in magazines and on TV but at the same time, I'm trying to be the best. Feeling like I'm not good if I'm not the best, like I'm not pretty if I am not the prettiest. That sucks, at least I know it and I'm trying to work on it.
Also, I get pissed of guys who wanna get laid with me. You go somewhere, they look at you, and you see by the way they do it that they are fucking you in their heads. You know what I mean? I read somewhere that it's a kind of rape, that way of acting through women. I know I ain't perfect, but I know I deserve more than just being fucked around. You know sometimes when those dudes look at you, sometimes I feel like spiting on them and start yelling '" yo dude, I've got brains". I'm not saying that I don't like sex, I know I love it, but not all the time and with everybody. And I truly know that I don't wanna spend my life being fucked. There's not better sex than the one you have with someone you love and who loves you back. I know I deserve more than that. I don't wanna feel "less" because sex is what a lot of dudes are looking for. Don't get me wrong, I ain't saying that sex is the only thing all the guys want. No, far from that. But I'd like to meet someone from time to time who'd talk to me not thinking about how to get inside of me. That's funny, when I was younger my dad told me: "you're pretty ***** don't let the wolves eat you". Now I understand what he meant.
All the girls should remember that: you don't need to fuck a guy to please him. Your sexuality is your own, you do what you feel like doing, don't do stuff to please. Don't fuck a guy thinking he'll love you after. Don't get laid either to feel like you're pretty or smart, you don't need that. I used to say I'm feminist and people would look at me in a weird way and I'd answer: being feminist means that women should be equals to men, not superiors, not inferiors, just fucking equals. In that world, women wouldn't be shy to tell that guy " I wanna get laid", she wouldn't be called a slut either. Why would guys be able to fuck more than us? I think that the actually women's worth enemy is woman itself. The woman who tried to please dudes, the one who feel like she needs to fuck him to be love by him, the one who need to be fuck to think she's pretty, smart and deserve to be respected. You don't need that. Respect yourself and your desires. This world is totally fucked up, we say that we're advanced, modern, but all I see are women hiding themselves, behind a shell, shy of their desires.
I'll stop complaining. But I'll finish with that: be true to yourself and to your friends, the few ones, cause they are the ones who will remain no matter what. Do the same with your family if you're close. Don't waste your time with people talk shitting too, stabbing you in the back, don't waste your energy on them "cause in the end they are no help to you.
And remember that girls: you have the power of life (children) you are mostly able to do what we called in the past "women works" and the past "men works" . Isn't that wonderful? Take your stand.
hahahahaha
Man, I need to calm down. Thanks for reading my bullshit if you did.
Happy New Year to everybody, have a lot of fun!
xoxox
VIEW 25 of 43 COMMENTS
its nice to know that there are girls who feel or have felt that same way that i used to.
by the way...your set was beautiful
happy new year and congrats on going live, you're lovely.