There's this horrid evolution in the world of acronyms. FTW has been hijacked by the online MMO, FPS, RTS crowd. Those rotters have changed the meaning to 'for the win' and have thus started spreading it as gospel. I mean, they'll hi-jack WTF as 'wallop the foes' next.. Gracious me, what's wrong with 'Let's 'ave em, boys' or 'Glory awaits us in Elysium' or 'nuke those vile cocksuckers'.
Laziness I say and I shall not brook that here (somehow). So lets make this clear:
FTW = FUCK THE WORLD.
And if anyone I don't respect disagrees with the reclamation - BYWTMJRSCONTYCFWOYATARPWAAHTDFSTKSUTMTWATICTBBBB!
As a gesture of goodwill feel free to take that acronym back. FTW is mine.
In ECW '98 Taz created the FTW title and let me tell you back then FTW did not stand for 'For the win'. He said so using explicit language. Fact. I've got it on tape still. Ahh, wrestling. Such a great way to waste an adolescence.
I'd like to say I've got more interesting things to blog about but since I've spent the week dosed up on pills trying to shake the peskiest headcold I've ever had and winning God of War (haven't been so wrecked winning a game since the mammoth all night session vanquishing Final Fantasy X.) so I'll do one of these multiple question surveys people like to do and read when they be blogworthy bankrupt like I am.
Of course I could type on and see what transpires but I cannot be fecked to write an essay why Iron Man is an utter shit. I'll leave that for the groovy folk.
What is your average bowling score?
69 (nyuk, get the juvenile answers in quick)
Is rap severely overrated?
As long as they allow the ax-masters at their tracks I don't care.
I don't care if you smoke or not. Would you smoke Malboros or Camels?
I'd smoke your backside first for such impudence. Don't care if I smoke... have you smelled what they smell like. Jeepers.
Which state do you think has the stinkiest environment?
Wisconsin. All that cheese plus Green Bay to put up with. Man...
Which state do you think would be the coolest to live at?
Nirvana, sucker!
If you were granted $10 million dollars, would you go live in North Dakota?
Of course, nitwit.
Even though no one has seen him in person, do you think God exists still?
Yes... and it's Him, numbskull. (This questioner needs taking down a peg or two, I mean really).
Would you rather have a $500 boombox or a $500 car sound system? Not both.
I can afford both so up yours, chum.
Would you drive a Chevrolet Camaro Z28 or a Nissan 350Z?
Yes. (heh, heh, heh)
How many stars do you think are in the sky?
More than the brain cells in the questioner's head.
Would you rather be in a pit of snakes or in an water tank with piranhas?
Snakes. Not all snakes rip you apart.
Have you ever picked your nose until it bled?
No, Jesus....
What is your favorite box of cereal?
I wish to point out, this survey was put together by a college student. A male college student. Yet another strike against the education system. Porridge.
Have you ever seen an eel?
Indeed. Caught one even. For three seconds before the rotten thing slipped out my hands. The class caught three. We kept one, gave the other two to a classmate who needed to feed his lobster. Good times.
Is it true that if you fear nothing, you love nothing?
FFS... of course not. A better question would be 'if you hate nothing do you love nothing?' College, peeps, college...
What is your favorite game show?
The UK Apprentice - Sir Alan rules. Own an Amstrad CPC and everything.
What would you do if you got locked out of your place and you were naked?
Wake up Egg. Maybe chase some nosy folk also.
Why are spiders feared but not lady bugs?
College boy people, college....
Why are people so ignorant when they are driving?
Because even ignorant people can pass their test. Many smart people can't. They even fail four times... ahem.
Why are people so selfish and careless about others?
Because some people are selfish and careless. Godalmighty, this guy ain't getting much bang for his buck from the college is he?
Where's the most ticklish spot on your body?
Bloody nice question that, let me see... feet.
Does this name sound gay... Charles Eugene Craft II?
WTF, I really should have looked over this survey before doing it.
Why does gay marriage bother people when they aren't invoved in it?
Because there are some folk in this world called homophobes. urgh, this can't go on...
If you had to paint a picture, what would you paint?
Probably a house in the countryside being strafed by kamizaze ravens of death all overseen by a crudely drawn cock - the type one would find in a religious textbook.
Would you rather live in a castle or an amusement park?
Castle providing it had central heating.
Have you ever been hacked on Myspace?
No. No I haven't.
Does it/would it piss you off?
No but I'd still put nine bullets in the hacker's motherfucking chest. (thank you Samuel L Jackson)
What's your favorite animal at the zoo?
Up the elephants!
A comedian once said cemeteries were pointless... Do you agree?
No. You can get curved headstones these days (tee- hee)
Have you ever ran with scissors before?
Who hasn't. Scissors aren't dangerous at all if you hold 'em right.
Make a guess... how many tissue boxes have you used in your life?
None! I'm a roll and hankie guy.
Do you know anyone who has a pig as a pet?
My cousin might. She collects all sort of exotic animals as pets. Should ask. But cannot be fecked.
What's the most annoying tv show out there?
Likely one I don't watch.
Do you know who Tom Tucker is?
No, but Truck Turner could down his ass in a sec.
What's your opinion on clouds?
They look nice at sunset in winter. Two thumbs up.
How many deaths in your first family have you experienced?
I'm going to assume immediate because, like most folk, I only have one family. 4 (Every bloody grandparent was pushing up daises by the time I was 7.)
If you could, would you burn a Abercrombie and Fitch store to the ground?
No. Arson is just dumb plus they'd make out bigtime on the insurance while the workers can't feed their families while waiting for the new store to be built. Godalmighty...
Would you burn a Build a Bear store to the ground?
No.
How much money would it take to make you retire early?
Retirement is like unemployment. Both blow. I'm working until I can't.
Is it possible for a normal person to win the lottery or is it rigged?
Of course it is. This questioner is a dunderhead.
Would you ever live at a place with black grass instead of green?
Yes. This questioner is a simpleton. In fact the website I ripped this off should be condemned for letting dreck like this it it's site. But then again, the website I got this off is a business. Standards need not apply.
{b}If you could be any kind of bird, what bird would you be?[/b}
Eagle. And why not.
When you lose the remote, do you look for the remote 1st or manually do it?
Depends on the urgency of the matter at hand.
Should there be a test for SUVs so only non power hungry people drive them?
For the love of... no because that would be discrimination. What ignorance.
Do you like to eat at Arbys?
Give me Bonhoga any day. Nice scones.
Would you rather have great friends or a great romantic relationship?
Friends. I think. This question is vague regarding the relationship as in, who would this relation ship be with. Human, animal, sea creature, faecal matter, severed fist?
Do you think we need to control the human population soon?
We are controlling the human population. See China. Although this fact may have gone over the questioners head given the level of thought he invests in these questions.
Can unbreakable combs be broken?
Freeze them in liquid nitrogen and take a mallet to it.
Egg once told me that survey say more about the surveyors than the person doing them. Once again, thanks to this brainless, ill-conceived drivel I've just completed, Egg is right. College student people. No wonder degrees are becoming that touch more worthless.
All right, this one was done by a home-schooled 14 year old girl. Let's see...
What is the closest thing to you that is orange?
My half-empty bottle of IRN-BRU (banned in the USA for it's carciogenic content! We Scots live dangerously)
Do you have a drinking problem?
Occasionally until I remember I'm doing the Ted Striker thing from Airplane for my own amusement.
What was your weirdest dream??
Ooooh, dang. That's a tough one. The one where an Angus Cow spits shitty hay at former Labour chairman Ian McCartney does stand out. I blogged about it once.
Have you ever almost burned down a house?
Not that I remember but I have seen a house burning. Well, chalet. the culprit was never caught, sadly.
Does it annoy you when people act stupid for attention?
.....
What would people think if they could read your mind?
Oh shit! Run!
Do your parents know your darkest secret?
If they did it wouldn't be a secret now would it. I'll let that slide...
What is your darkest secret?
I like this girl's style. Seriously. Already there's more respect for this here survey than the previous twit's one.
You ever had a near death experience with a sheep?
No but I have had a sheep witness one of my near death experiences. Hindu Cow, in his thrasher days, almost drove smack into a truck at 90mph. Egg hasn't been in a car with him since.
Have you even seen anything that you wish you didn't see?
Yes.
Have you ever had a deadly experience with a wild animal?
Yeah! Was once chased an insane bull. the owner forgot to switch on the electric fence and remembered Egg taunting it. Mum hasn't moved so fast since.
Do you like being a slut on halloween?
I'm more of a bastard myself.
Are you a slut all year long?
Tsk, such a fucking foul mouth on this girl.
What age did you stop believing in santa claus?
10 or 11. Can't remember the age but do remember being fecked off that all my Santa hating classmates were proved right. Fiends.
What sound makes your ears want to bleed?
Packer fans cheering.
Who is the ugliest person you can think of?
The Elephant man!!!! Or one of the cast from Freaks.
What doctor do you dread seeing the most?
Hmmmm, I dread meeting those nincompoops full stop.
What do you think the most pointless store at the mall is?
That's a good one. Now let me think... one of those dumb bric-a-brac places.
Have you ever woke up and you were crying?
No. Scared, yes. Crying, no.
Do you like to dance on table tops?
No. One cannot 'cut loose' on a simple table-top.
Have you ever used a copy/scanner machine inappropriately?
Yes. I photocopied a sick line without asking the machine owner's permission. However that's not as bad as the time when [important council boss] used the machine at [place of work] to photocopy an entire book. That misappropriation of taxpayers equipment and blatant misuse of copyright has had an adverse effect on me. (That's my argument in front of the judge at least).
Which of your friends is most likely to pass out drunk?
Erm... I'll say Jammy. (That pimp is back! And on crutches. Again.)
Which of your friends is most likely to go streaking?
Probably me if sufficiently provoked.
Has a llama ever spit on you?
Nope.
Have you ever eaten seaweed?
I chewed but did not swallow. I think. Memory is hazy on that.
What is the strangest thing you've ever eaten?
I'm a food fascist. If t doesn't jive with me it doesn't go down the hatch.
Do you think the president is hot?( I hope you don't cuz that is just wrong) [/b}
AHA, a teenage liberal homophobe. I knew they existed.
Type " turkey sandwich on pizza while butchering a pig" with your eye closed
fuck off.... wow, I amaze myself.
Have you ever broken into someones home?
Yeah. My own when we lost the key and Egg couldn't get out.
Where is the best place the hide a body?
In a lit furnace. Then it's a matter of collecting the ashes and dumping them at sea.
Have you ever yelled at non living things?
This girl obviously hasn't played God of War, Football Manager, Final Fantasy....
Have you ever lived in a box on the street?
No and frankly where I live there is no need for homelessness. I know Leaside is a shithole but damnit, if there's empty houses they should be occupied.
Do you help old people across the road?
No. Where's the fun in that. The real fun is watching them dash before some teenager comes barrelling along in their modded-to-flip car. Now that's entertainment.
1: Girls write better surveys than guys.
2: College students are dumb. The home-schooled are bright
3: I need a more constructive way to spend Sunday evenings.
WATAAAAAAAAAAAH! Enough answers, bloody answers. Time to either tackle 'House of Leaves' or continue 'World War Z'. Not 'Blair'. Biographies are best digested while taking a dump. Fact.
Spread the brilliance:
Shakespeare? The great bard? Give me this sort of thing any day.
I was so fucking badass.