Fact: I was more upset about that rat-bastard Iron Man winning the Civil War than the Bears.. actually no, I'm feeling the pain and sorrow now... FUCK ME THEY HAD THE COLTS WHERE THEY NEEDED TO BE. THEY SHOULD HAVE KILLED 'EM. MURDERED THEM . BUT NO!!! WHY REX WHY!!!!!
That wasn't at all cathartic. In fact that was dumb and stupid and come the day when some bottom-feeding hack write the 'authorised by my estate biography' they'll see this and mock me before turning the invective on Green Bay (as directed by me via my estate). So in essence the above is just another dig at Green Bay. Which is awesome. Heh, some good did come out of that game. Amazing.
Actually my favourite bit was everyone handling me with kid-gloves afterwards (except Terry) and Ramsay there to ask "How am I handling it" which was very worldly of him. Feft, my Bears craziness peak with the Arizona game. I wouldn't trade that night for anything. Well maybe an all-expense paid harem. Or a pot of gold. Or a the ability to speak 4 languages. Or a starring role in The Departed sequels as a criminal who Mark Wahlberg verbally abuses before we film the scene where Mark Wahlberg verbally abuses me. Yeah, that seems fair.
Things I've learned since the last time I've blogged:
Doors marked information don't always lead to offices. Sometimes they lead into a byre where cows chewing the hay stop and stare at you. I made like an organ-phobic ice hockey fan and got the puck of out there.
The above joke seemed like a good idea a few seconds ago. the above fact is true though.
Old ladies really do live in the middle of nowhere in a ramshackle house with five cats. This one had two massive sheep braying at me and a nasty-ass ram ready to rip my ass cheeks apart. Bastard thing.
It is not a good idea to have dogs in heat on your lap if you want to wear the same clothes all day.
There is no such thing as fairly priced art. Well not in Shetland at least. Even the crap's expensive.
It is entirely possible to carry a polite conversation with a woman that plants faeces on a side table. It is even more possible to say faeces without laughing at yourself saying it.
The bad contracts of today are the illegal contracts of tomorrow which spread unhappiness and frustration. Shame the dickheads on the council 37 years ago didn't realise this.
Everyone lives the Charles Bukowski 'Post Office' life but nobody can put is as cool as he does.
Green Bay still sucks.
Best thing to have at breakfast: porridge. Worst thing: Pespi (only because I'd never have Coke first thing)
Dubstep wobble is nothing to overdose on especially if you want a good night's sleep. The Departed, however, is. And in case anyone was wondering the porn film shown in the theatre is 'Debbie Does Dallas: The Revenge' however the funky beat that belts out in the porno theatre is not in the film. that was recorded. Separately.
It is true that you should never meet your heroes. It is even more true that you should never read their biographies either.
Shooting people in the head is a good thing... wait, shooting the bad guys in the head in the EA video game black is a good thing. Not in real life for reasons that I shall not list here (consult the Citizens Advice Bureau or equivalent if you desire a list of these reasons).
Stabbing people in the mouth is a good thing.
Poker sucks now. It does. It really does. Sadly.
In three weeks Battlestar Galactica has gone from a-number-1 to being damned insufferable and rather tedious. This happens to correlate with the realisation that Tricia Helfer (who looks quite daft in the C&C 3 demo) wears a wig for the show. There's a correlation somewhere. May only be my head but it's somewhere.
Enough jive lest I be washed away. Blaxploitation double-bill tonight. First up is truck Turner (and teh soundtrack is supreme) and then it's the biggie.
$10,000 cars. $600 suits. I'm there! (if I ever pass that bloody test...)
That wasn't at all cathartic. In fact that was dumb and stupid and come the day when some bottom-feeding hack write the 'authorised by my estate biography' they'll see this and mock me before turning the invective on Green Bay (as directed by me via my estate). So in essence the above is just another dig at Green Bay. Which is awesome. Heh, some good did come out of that game. Amazing.
Actually my favourite bit was everyone handling me with kid-gloves afterwards (except Terry) and Ramsay there to ask "How am I handling it" which was very worldly of him. Feft, my Bears craziness peak with the Arizona game. I wouldn't trade that night for anything. Well maybe an all-expense paid harem. Or a pot of gold. Or a the ability to speak 4 languages. Or a starring role in The Departed sequels as a criminal who Mark Wahlberg verbally abuses before we film the scene where Mark Wahlberg verbally abuses me. Yeah, that seems fair.
Things I've learned since the last time I've blogged:
Doors marked information don't always lead to offices. Sometimes they lead into a byre where cows chewing the hay stop and stare at you. I made like an organ-phobic ice hockey fan and got the puck of out there.
The above joke seemed like a good idea a few seconds ago. the above fact is true though.
Old ladies really do live in the middle of nowhere in a ramshackle house with five cats. This one had two massive sheep braying at me and a nasty-ass ram ready to rip my ass cheeks apart. Bastard thing.
It is not a good idea to have dogs in heat on your lap if you want to wear the same clothes all day.
There is no such thing as fairly priced art. Well not in Shetland at least. Even the crap's expensive.
It is entirely possible to carry a polite conversation with a woman that plants faeces on a side table. It is even more possible to say faeces without laughing at yourself saying it.
The bad contracts of today are the illegal contracts of tomorrow which spread unhappiness and frustration. Shame the dickheads on the council 37 years ago didn't realise this.
Everyone lives the Charles Bukowski 'Post Office' life but nobody can put is as cool as he does.
Green Bay still sucks.
Best thing to have at breakfast: porridge. Worst thing: Pespi (only because I'd never have Coke first thing)
Dubstep wobble is nothing to overdose on especially if you want a good night's sleep. The Departed, however, is. And in case anyone was wondering the porn film shown in the theatre is 'Debbie Does Dallas: The Revenge' however the funky beat that belts out in the porno theatre is not in the film. that was recorded. Separately.
It is true that you should never meet your heroes. It is even more true that you should never read their biographies either.
Shooting people in the head is a good thing... wait, shooting the bad guys in the head in the EA video game black is a good thing. Not in real life for reasons that I shall not list here (consult the Citizens Advice Bureau or equivalent if you desire a list of these reasons).
Stabbing people in the mouth is a good thing.
Poker sucks now. It does. It really does. Sadly.
In three weeks Battlestar Galactica has gone from a-number-1 to being damned insufferable and rather tedious. This happens to correlate with the realisation that Tricia Helfer (who looks quite daft in the C&C 3 demo) wears a wig for the show. There's a correlation somewhere. May only be my head but it's somewhere.
Enough jive lest I be washed away. Blaxploitation double-bill tonight. First up is truck Turner (and teh soundtrack is supreme) and then it's the biggie.
$10,000 cars. $600 suits. I'm there! (if I ever pass that bloody test...)
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
It is not a good idea to have dogs in heat on your lap if you want to wear the same clothes all day.
I seriously laughed at that for a good minute or two. Genius!