arcadia_rose

Relationship problems, a la Arcadia..
This is a SUPER long entry.. and kudos to anyone who actually finishes the damn thing.. i guess i am making up for my lack of entries by having one big long one


Okay... so I have a bit of an issue going on thats been bugging me lately... I've been casually dating two different guys for the past few months.. strange, but they both kinda began at the same time.

Let's take a look at the contestants, shall we?

One guy is one of my good friends (and best friend to MY best friend's husband) that just sort of turned into something more one day when we just started going at it randomly and now make it a regular occasion. I never thought I would be interested in this guy (Lets call him Steve) as anything other than a friend because... to be quite honest.. i did not find him attractive in the slightest. And at the time, I couldn't quite get over that and definitely couldnt picture myself being physical with him. He was just this completely charming and witty guy that made me laugh all the time and whom i spent 80% of my week with. But then, one day, after an evening of drinking and video games, one thing led to another and sex was had. And it was good. Thing is.. i blamed that on the alcohol and assumed it would never happen again. But it did. over and over. And now, i find him MUCH more attractive than ever. I guess that sorta happens when you get closer to someone, who knows. whatever.

The other guy (lets call him Nick) is a guy I have had a secret crush on for a year. I mean i obsessed over him for ages, but nothing ever came of it. He flirted with me endlessly, but never made any effort to spend time with me away from ou mutal friends. Then, one day, AGES after i had given up on him and after Steve and I had already had our first sexual encounter, he admits that he has had a crush on me for a long time. So now i think.. oh great.. NOW he tells me. Now i suppose seeing i was already sleeping with Steve at this point, I should have said "Gee too bad" right away, but.. as Steve and i werent exactly 'dating' and Nick was so incredibly irrestistable, i simply told him i felt the same way, and then progressed to physical encounters on a regular basis. I have fun with Nick.. he is a great guy with great music taste.. we dont have quite as much in common as Steve and I, but Nick is insanely attractive.. i mean the kind of attractive that makes all the girls stop and look at him when we walk into a bar. THAT kind of attractive.. I can't stop looking at him.. hmm..


While i really didn't have any plans to be exclusive to either, they both got really serious all of the sudden.. without warning.. and I found myself with the 'girlfriend' title to both... Now most people would think this isn't actually a problem at all and i've gotten the same two bits of advice over and over..

1)lots of people tell me that there's nothing wrong being with multiple people when you're young and unmarried. The problem is.. I just dont really work like that. I like to be exclusive when things get more serious.. which is exactly what these two relationships have recently done... which in my mind, makes me an offical cheater.. and thats the LAST thing i wanna be.
2)People also tell me that since the topic of me being a girlfriend has never been officially discussed, that makes the whole thing null and void, and i am free to do whatever i please. Sure. that mightve been true had I said at the first mention of the G word that i didnt WANT to be anyone's girlfriend, and made it clear to both. Well.. I am stupid. I didn't do that at the beginning and i feel now that they have progressed too far to stop now and say "Whoa whoa... i know youve been calling me your girlfriend for over a month now, but i want no part of that!" uhh yeah.. i just dont think i can do that. i made that mistake..


Basically.. my issue now is.. i need to choose one. and then figure out how to let the other one down.. before this all blows up in my face and i am left with no one.. ARGH!