- on ainoa's post on apropoetic's page
- on felinagirly's post on apropoetic's page
- on bitterblue's post on apropoetic's page
- on doncella's post on apropoetic's page
- on paulahard's blog post
- on octaviamay's blog post
My grandmother had her life support pulled yesterday evening. Her health has been failing in recent years. She had a kidney transplant years ago and I guess her kidneys started failing again and had been on dialysis again. She had severe pneumonia two years ago and mid last year found out she had esophageal cancer. They did surgery to remove it and she had been...
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You were my companion for more years than I got to know my own father and now you're gone too...
fate:
Sorry for your lost... My condolences
caraphernelia:
:((
I don't know if anyone else has ever felt this way... I've felt this way even as a small child, but how do you pay off your debt when that debt is your own existence? I know it's a depressing thought but it's just one I've never been able to shake and certain things last night and tonight have just caused it to resurface.
Feels like you really can't win sometimes, or all the time, or whatever...I don't know.
Some people are so kind to me and I will never know why. It's a kindness I have never come close to showing myself but because of it, I'm still here, in life, and it looks like I will still be here for awhile on this site as well. I will try to repay people for what they have done for me, whether they want...
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rambo:
I'm streaming again tomorrow, will you be there? :)
apropoetic:
@rambo I'll certainly try to be.
So I have until 11/27 to come up with the money to renew my subscription here... Hopefully I'll figure out something as I quite like it here even though my interaction on the site might be somewhat limited. I've discovered many amazing people here that I interact with on Twitter and Twitch as well as here and it would be nice to be able to...
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apropoetic:
@bashley That is unbelievably sweet of you to offer but it's ok. I wouldn't feel right accepting. I'll come up with something even if it takes me a little while.
rambo:
<3
I don't really say anything on here anymore and not that this sounds any different than before but I am not doing well...
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apropoetic:
@caraphernelia The continued circumstances of my life are draining me and my depression has just been worsening to a pretty serious degree.
caraphernelia:
damn, I'm with you, I know what this is as I already had a pretty bad depression. trust your psychologist and psychiatrist.
It's my birthday yet again and every year even since childhood they've been stressful and hard to deal with. I used to even plan my parties growing up according to what my friends wanted and catered to them during the party. The last decade or so I've just been alone in my house sitting at my computer like I do everyday or when I was...
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caraphernelia:
awww i'm still wishing you a happy birthday :o
apropoetic:
@shake_the_disease @caraphernelia Thank you both. Though I did just sit at home alone as usual, I was rather surprised by some of the people who sent me well wishes. Simple gestures like that, especially from people with no obligation to do so really mean a lot to me and definitely helped me get through the day.
I'm strongly considering withdrawing almost entirely from the internet. No visiting cam sites, leaving social media, deleting Tumblr, etc. I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this. I try so hard to battle my depression and I'm losing just the same. I can't find anywhere I feel I actually belong and it's painful to even pretend. I know I've said something along...
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bashley:
*hugs* I realize it's been some time since you posted this but if you ever need an ear I'm happy to listen. Sometimes we just need to step back and recharge. I hope you're doing better! and know you're not alone in your struggle. Even i have days where I battle depression and I'll try to secluded myself. I'm a extrovert with learned introverted tendices. Like I said sometime I just need to recharge myself. ♡
I kinda feel like I should stop trying to talk or message people online, including here. Like maybe I should only speak to anyone if I am directly spoken to first, otherwise I just leave everyone alone. I'd still like photosets but just not say anything. I'd maybe still post but just not towards or reply to anyone. Maybe this would be better for everyone...
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apropoetic:
@chef Nothing here. Kinda complicated I guess but I have a lot of severe depression and anxiety problems and self-hate. Talking online is my only outlet but I always feel like I'm annoying people and I take things really hard and personal. So when I reach out to people, comment and such and get negative responses they reaffirm all those feelings and I just want to shut down and give up, especially when it comes from someone I really like.
chef:
Well self deprecation never gets you very far. I wish you sunshine and happiness ☀️☀️😘
I wonder what the girls here on this site like to hear as far as comments on their content, especially their photosets, like I know nothing crude, negative or really overly critical. I often just post simple comments about how beautiful a girl or her set is but do you like something more specific? Would you want any critique at all from viewers so long...
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chef:
Just be genuine. Comment on what you would like to. I usually say to keep comments to visuals and not what you would like to do to her, with her body, etc. it could help to follow some members that have been here for a while like @littlejohn22 @thekarmaguy @wizard0 and look at what they say to the girls as a guideline of what is appreciated by the girls.
wizard0:
I usually compliment with the thought that this is someone's mother, daughter, sister, wife, etc, and avoid being crude. If it's a pic on someone's wall and I know that the person might find that kind of comment humorous, then I might get a bit more ribald.
At the suggestion of a select few... I'm trying to start reposting some of the things I've written over the years. I deleted it all recently and have done so elsewhere in the past. I don't think I'm any good and nobody else ever seemed to either, but if you feel like checking any of it out:
http://apropoetic.tumblr.com/