My cat is really ill, she has a tumor in her mouth. When we started taking her to the vet a couple of months ago thinking she just had a bad tooth or something they did say it might be a tumor but that this wasn't something they could treat so we just had to wait and see. She has been looking really terrible for a couple of weeks but still purring and active and interested in her food so we thought we should just leave her and see what happed but the last couple of days she hasn't been able to eat at all. Her little tongue hangs out the side of her mouth and she cannot close her mouth properly because the tumor is pushing it open. Can't nature be a bit more compassionate? I don't suppose that is it's aim. I feel so bad for her. I suppose we will have to ask the vet to put her too sleep which is a horrible decision to make but supposedly the kind thing to do? I don't feel it's really up to anyone else to choose what happens to a life but it does seem we would be being cruel letting her go on like this so I hope it's the right decision. Humans can say that they want to die but we don't let them and animals cannot say, we have to guess for them. I have had her since I was 10 years old and she was my first pet. I asked my dad every day for 2 years (how annoying of me) if I could get a cat and one day they came to collect me from school with this beautiful little kitten who was Cleo. Anyway this is life, it begins and ends for everyone. She's 19 years old, a long life for a cat. I just wish she didn't have to be suffering. Maybe it's worse for us than it is for her though, we are always very disturbed by the outward appearance or thing which might not necessarily match how someone feels inside.
It's rare for me to spend time online these days and I do sometimes miss the interactions but I feel much happier using my time for reading, music, seeing people in the flesh, working, practicing. I think I mentioned before that my laptop broke about 4 years ago and then my ipod thing fell in the bath last year was it? ....so I don't have my "own" internet access now and I think that is one of the best things that has happened to me! I could buy a new piece of technology but I don't want to. Not having it for a while made me realise how unnecessary it is to have the internet at your fingertips constantly. Remember when you maybe had one computer in the house that everyone would share? Or you would go to the internet cafe or library and just spend half an hour now and then to check emails and such-like? It's blown all out of proportion now. I suppose it's a bit funny to be writing about how I don't need the internet, on the internet but it's just that I don't need so much of it. I think we should be using it for the bare minimum. Things we could do just fine before it, we shouldn't use it for. Generally it is such a waste of time and energy and resources and gosh.... those people who are nearly getting run over ever two minutes because they are checking their twitter while crosisng the road?!! Wake up humans! I watch them and shake my head in disbelief like an old person :-)
I do not discount the positive aspects of this technology in connecting the world and the wonderful friends I have gained as a result but despite that we're missing out on so much. A world of wonder and beauty and real tastes and smells and sensations and nothing but boredom and ego inflation to lose you know... I use to have this instagram thing and what it is... is logging on to a machine every day to see DOES SOMEONE HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT SOMETHING TO DO WITH ME????!!!!!! Even if we say it is just to keep up with friends, I don't really think that is true. It's all empty games for the ego. I've tried to shed my addictions over the past couple of years, it's happened quite naturally actually. I do think that computers are a terrible addiction for people. Constantly feeling like you should be checking your email or twitter or instagram or facebook, stressing about things that people have or haven't written to you on it is depriving you of being HERE and NOW and I think that is sad.
Maybe it is daft to be writing that on a site where there are hundreds of picture of me and I have read and enjoyed all the things people have said about them in the past but I feel that I am free of that now. I don't remember the last time I took a portrait of myself because really what is the point? That's not to say that I don't find other peoples portraits interesting, it's just not for me anymore. I certainly don't criticize anyone who does like these things, it can be a wonderful art form but it was something I wanted to escape from, at least for a while. I hope that doesn't all sound ungrateful or rude but I don't think there is any reason for it to mean anything to me if someone does or doesn't like my face or hands or breasts or ankles or bottom....
I think that the real world needs us and that we're lost in space. We're already lost enough in our worries and hopes and dreams without this digital dimension to add to it. I think I also got to the point where I couldn't stand to read all the abusive things people were writing to each other on all these websites people put so many personal things on. I think it is a dangerous thing for society that there is a place where people now have the opportunity to mindless abuse each other with words. How long before it becomes normal and we start speaking to each other like this in person? So by all means try to compassionately challenge people when they say these things, try to educate them but maybe the best thing we can all do is spend less time staring at a little screen?
Anyway, I'm havering. It's what I had been thinking about the last wee while. I still like this website even though it has changed a lot, it's a reasonably safe haven where people are mostly very respectful, kind and intelligent and it has given me some very interesting opportunities and experiences. I would never be ungrateful for that. I'm not sure how things will be when the new website is it but hopefully there will still be some community, that is what is interesting about SG. What do you think about internet use? Am I just being a grump? And am I being hypocritical in asking what you think and then coming back on to see what you've said?! Maybe it's just a phase and of course it is probably a trick of my own ego in thinking I have broken free in any way! x
It's rare for me to spend time online these days and I do sometimes miss the interactions but I feel much happier using my time for reading, music, seeing people in the flesh, working, practicing. I think I mentioned before that my laptop broke about 4 years ago and then my ipod thing fell in the bath last year was it? ....so I don't have my "own" internet access now and I think that is one of the best things that has happened to me! I could buy a new piece of technology but I don't want to. Not having it for a while made me realise how unnecessary it is to have the internet at your fingertips constantly. Remember when you maybe had one computer in the house that everyone would share? Or you would go to the internet cafe or library and just spend half an hour now and then to check emails and such-like? It's blown all out of proportion now. I suppose it's a bit funny to be writing about how I don't need the internet, on the internet but it's just that I don't need so much of it. I think we should be using it for the bare minimum. Things we could do just fine before it, we shouldn't use it for. Generally it is such a waste of time and energy and resources and gosh.... those people who are nearly getting run over ever two minutes because they are checking their twitter while crosisng the road?!! Wake up humans! I watch them and shake my head in disbelief like an old person :-)
I do not discount the positive aspects of this technology in connecting the world and the wonderful friends I have gained as a result but despite that we're missing out on so much. A world of wonder and beauty and real tastes and smells and sensations and nothing but boredom and ego inflation to lose you know... I use to have this instagram thing and what it is... is logging on to a machine every day to see DOES SOMEONE HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT SOMETHING TO DO WITH ME????!!!!!! Even if we say it is just to keep up with friends, I don't really think that is true. It's all empty games for the ego. I've tried to shed my addictions over the past couple of years, it's happened quite naturally actually. I do think that computers are a terrible addiction for people. Constantly feeling like you should be checking your email or twitter or instagram or facebook, stressing about things that people have or haven't written to you on it is depriving you of being HERE and NOW and I think that is sad.
Maybe it is daft to be writing that on a site where there are hundreds of picture of me and I have read and enjoyed all the things people have said about them in the past but I feel that I am free of that now. I don't remember the last time I took a portrait of myself because really what is the point? That's not to say that I don't find other peoples portraits interesting, it's just not for me anymore. I certainly don't criticize anyone who does like these things, it can be a wonderful art form but it was something I wanted to escape from, at least for a while. I hope that doesn't all sound ungrateful or rude but I don't think there is any reason for it to mean anything to me if someone does or doesn't like my face or hands or breasts or ankles or bottom....
I think that the real world needs us and that we're lost in space. We're already lost enough in our worries and hopes and dreams without this digital dimension to add to it. I think I also got to the point where I couldn't stand to read all the abusive things people were writing to each other on all these websites people put so many personal things on. I think it is a dangerous thing for society that there is a place where people now have the opportunity to mindless abuse each other with words. How long before it becomes normal and we start speaking to each other like this in person? So by all means try to compassionately challenge people when they say these things, try to educate them but maybe the best thing we can all do is spend less time staring at a little screen?
Anyway, I'm havering. It's what I had been thinking about the last wee while. I still like this website even though it has changed a lot, it's a reasonably safe haven where people are mostly very respectful, kind and intelligent and it has given me some very interesting opportunities and experiences. I would never be ungrateful for that. I'm not sure how things will be when the new website is it but hopefully there will still be some community, that is what is interesting about SG. What do you think about internet use? Am I just being a grump? And am I being hypocritical in asking what you think and then coming back on to see what you've said?! Maybe it's just a phase and of course it is probably a trick of my own ego in thinking I have broken free in any way! x
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nikoll:
I'm so sorry about your cat. I've been in similar situation and it's so hard. I feel a bit the same about the internet and technology. I think too often people are too wrapped up in their devices to notice all the amazing things around them. And sometimes I miss the days when people made calls on their phones and sent letter mail. :)
marceline:
@annalee this blog is so well written - it's definitely giving me a lot to think about. sorry to be so late on seeing this. sorry to hear about Cleos passing too <3