anger_frog

Last night was the date from hell.

While the story of why it was the date from hell is tragically humorous, I decided to spare myself the humilation of writing the details here for the sake of a cheap laugh. I think I've finally grown weary of being nothing more than a source of amusement to people. I'm also tired of a lot of other things about human interaction as well.

The theme of this year for me was self-improvement; it hinged on the belief that I could fill a lot of holes in my life by focusing on improving myself both physically and mentally. It wasn't until last night that I realized that it is a pointless endeavor, since there really isn't anything or anyone in this world I really need to prove myself. I think I'm finally done with dating, since I finally figured out what it's all about: convincing the other person that they are not good enough so you can hide the fact that you suck.

Seriously, looking back at every woman I've been with, it seems to be the case each time. If I was a little more confident and arrogant, then I'd probably still be a virgin. But we live in a society that frowns upon people who wish to pursue things other than sexual activity, so I guess I played along with the game up until this point. But now I'm thinking the whole thing is a sham; a conspiracy to keep you breeding and questioning yourself.

Imagine what your life would be like now if you devoted all the time and energy you spent in getting laid or keeping some of the ingrates you dated happy on something more productive. I would have graduated from college years ago, and it would have probably been a better school than the one I'm in now. I would be established in my field, living in a nice place that I almost have paid off and pulling down an annual income that would ensure my comfort for the rest of my days. No bad memories about ex's screwing me over, and I'd never have to look over my shoulder for someone trying to plant a knife. As hard as it is to believe, I think I might be happy.

Instead I chose the road most traveled. For all the sex I've had I've got nothing to show for it. I've had a lot for someone my age, and I"ve done everything at least twice, but in the end it amounts to nothing. Why are so many of us fixated on something that is ultimately meaningless and empty? For the love of all that's holy, don't say marriage. That's the biggest scam of all kids: find someone nice and wait around them long enough until you find a reason to hate them. You want to also remember that the minority of marriages that don't end in divorce are made up of early deaths and seperations that never finalize into divorce as well as those who actually do the "until death do us part" schtick. That ring is a one-way ticket to Hell, no matter which path you take.

I think I'll donate my genitalia to some poor soul who got ripped off by the genetic lottery and pursue a career as an irritated eunuch.