anger_frog

The theme of the last few days has been having a total loss of focus at the most inopertune time. I have a mound of finals assignments before me, but I sit down long enough to put anything resembling a dent into them. I was hoping to stave off the burnout effect until mid-May, but it decided to show up early despite a rather restful Spring Break. I'm cutting it really close now but the natural reaction of panic is numbed by the overwhelming apathy that has washed down over me as of late. This is not unlike high school, but at least I had the good sense to freak out when the 11th hour drew nigh.

I also have fallen way behind on reading journals; I'm usually quite reliable on that account, but my mind has been elsewhere. I promise to catch up as soon as I get everything into the proper gear. But right now I'm drinking coffee and comtemplating whether or not I have enough time to go grocery shopping before signing up for Fall registeration later this morning. I'm also goading myself mentally to at least get started on one of the smaller assignments, since that will be due (along with another unfinished work) tomorrow.

I think my cover story of cannibals is coming true. I have a huge bruise on my neck resembling a bite mark and I cannot remember how the hell I got it. I don't have a social life, so the most likely explanation is out the window, and would've remembered an accident causing this large of a bruise. The only possible explanation is that the cannibals are sneaking into the room at night and chewing on my neck in hopes of severing an artery. Unfortunately, I'm so tense that the muscles are making the tasty neck meat too tough to rupture with teeth. Fortunately the cannibals here are not as smart as the ones in Texas; Texan redneck cannibals have mastered the use of simple tools such as the chainsaw.

I would've had a picture for humorous effect, but the internet decided not to cooperate. Figures.

There is a story on the newswire about how the West Virginia legislature passed a bill making English the offical state language. Naturally, most of the posts passed on the chance for intellectual input and went straight for the (safe) stereotypes. Strangely, this bothered me a great deal, despite the fact that I'm quite adept at verbally tearing down this rank shithole of a state. I think my irritation stemmed from the fact that don't know why exactly this is a horrible place. They chose to go the same route as those they criticize and fell back on tired cliches and sterotypes in a desperate attempt to be found funny. Even when something does deserve to be criticized, you should still know why you should be criticizing it instead of baaing like a mindless ewe.

I"ll have to deal with this in person one day...this is part of the reason I daydreamed about the idea of establishing an entirely new identity when I finally get the chance to escape. One of my professors told me the story of when she first got her book deal. They flew her to New York, and some men some the talent agency gave her a tour. She was patronized constantly, as they felt they had to explain things like ATMs and subways to her. Despite her explanations that she was more than familiar with everything they were "introducing" to her, they stuck with her approach of handling her like she was from the Middle Ages. I really dread the idea of going through a simliar experience.

No matter how much caffeine I jam into my system, thsi headache will not go away. I'm going to have to go without sleep the next two days just to get slightly less behind and still the academic survival instinct refuses to kick into motion. Maybe the realization of going to school here another year is killing my drive. Maybe seeing the most evil of ex's at the mall the other day is eating me more than I care to admit. There's more maybes, but I don't want get repetitious here.

My words are starting to slur together, which means I need to start physically moving about or else I'll pass out. Forgive the lack of proofreading just this once, as I'm too tired to give a damn at this point. Cheers.

Update 12:51 EST: More family drama! Thankyou, Space Jesus, you were just in the nick of time! Sorry, I'm exhausted it seemed to make sense to accredit Space Jesus. There is no Space Jesus, or regular Jesus, but there probably is a Baby Jesus. He cries when you touch yourself. The Dumbass Brother got into hot water again. My dad is going to bail him out one last time, but only under the condition that his share of the inheritence is reduced to one dollar. My other brother (is somewhat less stupid) will also get one dollar plus the power tools. The remainder of the estate goes to me and my sisters. I take no joy in this, because 1) I really hoped they would've gotten their shit together at this point in their lives 2) My dad is justified in this, regardless of how harsh it is 3) Dumbass doesn't have a phone, so I had to relay the message in person to his white trash wife 4) My parents cheerful manner in which they speak of their mortality creeps me the hell out. Seriously, not only have they purchased their plots and headstones in head of time, they took pictures to show all of us. Just like they were vacation photos. For a pair of people of little religious bent, they sure are chipper about shuffling the mortal coil.

Ok, Dumbass just came into my room. He says he was unaware of any such inheritence, but that's okay since his father-in-law in signing for them to get a house. His in-laws like to promise him and his wife without any means or intention on following through, cause they're dumb enough to keep falling for it. I respond with lots of head nodding because that usually cuts things short without committing to any side of the argument. Why the hell are these people asking my opinions on these things? Don't they know I haven't slept and I seem to be acknowledging some sort of Space Jesus? Well, I guess they couldn't know, but dammit, they should! If only there was some way to let them know I don't care about who is right without getting involved in a convergent argument. Convergent argument? Goddamn Logic paper...at least its done. Now I just have a 3 page History paper, another Logic paper, and 2 15-page giants for PoliSci. God, those are gonna suck balls. The International Relations is going to be Vanuddi, and the Public Opinion paper will be on the Enormous Omelette Sandwich at Burger King. Why? Cause I'm sick of Michael Jackson molesting the corpses of Terri Schiavo and the Pope, that's why. Actually, Terri is a woman, although you could add attachments to a Mr. Potato Head, so I guess you could stick a penis onto any vegetable, including Terri. But they're still adults, so I guess he would need a time machine and why the fuck am I still writing this? Jesus Christ, I'm competing with Courtney Love's journal now? I can't beat her though, since no one's
given head to a shotgun to get away from me.

If you've read this far, then you're a sick fuck. My kind of sick fuck.

I just noticed something: Beck mentions the Devil in almost all his songs. What the hell is that about? That must be what he paid in exchange for the taco (that's an actual reference; bonus points if you know what i'm talking about).

Three and a half hours until class. I'll sleep sometime later tonight.