I am trying to get myself in a good mood and it just doesn't seem like it's happening. I'm going out in like 10 minutes I think to finish running errands that I hope will make my week easier. I really kinda want to do something tonight I am almost afraid to because I'm doing song me overtime tomorrow starting at 8 and had a hard enough time this morning getting to a 10:30 oil change/brake appointment, meh. I also got the wee hybrid washed like 2 days ago so of course a bird took a giant crap on my trunk. Not that I can't just handle that but it is funny. I'm also miffed because I was accepted into the cancer group that's on this site and started writing a big long post and it all got erased. I have been having a lot of murphy's law issues like that. Still life is good I still have great parking karma and fun stuff like that.
I just am hungry and greedy for life right now. I want more tattoos I want to go to more shows, museums and concerts and classes and travel. I also would really like an intelligent companion with whom to do that kind of crap ...which I thought I had found but it's looking like I just got hosed again. it happens not a lot but enough that I'm annoyed. It's not like i can't acquire a companion. I have the kind of personality that allows me to talk to anyone anywhere and I have great luck finding neat people on line.
However, when I find something that I think is outlandishly and startlingly neat I get really really excited and am willing to do whatever work I have to in order to ensure that things go well. I'm very driven and resourceful but after all that if I can't create the scenario that I had envisioned it really smashes the crap out of me and I do dwell on things an unreasonable bit. What did I do? What did I not do? Why am I so intense!? How am I going to distract myself? Was I not pretty enough? that is really where I dwell i do a lot of comparing myself to others and it is fairly internalized. it really is a bad weakness to be afflicted with i really hope that writing crap like this ends up helping me some how with it other wise it's a bit of a waste of time because it's not like anybody reads these things right?
I just am hungry and greedy for life right now. I want more tattoos I want to go to more shows, museums and concerts and classes and travel. I also would really like an intelligent companion with whom to do that kind of crap ...which I thought I had found but it's looking like I just got hosed again. it happens not a lot but enough that I'm annoyed. It's not like i can't acquire a companion. I have the kind of personality that allows me to talk to anyone anywhere and I have great luck finding neat people on line.
However, when I find something that I think is outlandishly and startlingly neat I get really really excited and am willing to do whatever work I have to in order to ensure that things go well. I'm very driven and resourceful but after all that if I can't create the scenario that I had envisioned it really smashes the crap out of me and I do dwell on things an unreasonable bit. What did I do? What did I not do? Why am I so intense!? How am I going to distract myself? Was I not pretty enough? that is really where I dwell i do a lot of comparing myself to others and it is fairly internalized. it really is a bad weakness to be afflicted with i really hope that writing crap like this ends up helping me some how with it other wise it's a bit of a waste of time because it's not like anybody reads these things right?