alleycake

don't ever stop doubting or questioning. that's the only way you'll figure out if you have made the so called right decisions. And right abviously depends on how you define it. Soooo, how you know is by continuing to ask yourself if this is what you want and if this is where you want to be and how you want to feel, etc. Doubt is good. Then its nice to think about not selling yourself short. Could you be happier? Could you be doign something different, making a different decision, changing something small or large in your life to make yourself better or happier. It may take becoming less happy, uh-oh, maybe even sad or miserable before getting happier, but that's just how it works sometimes. Maybe I'm misunderstanding you, but one of the best ways to determine the future is from things that happened in the past. Now you can't say for certain every time, but the past helps. You shouldn't regret things you've done in the past, but learn from them and then use those things to help you determine what you are going to do in the future. Maybe you made a bad decision, try not to regret it, learn from it and either don't make the same mistake or change it slightly so it's better this time around. It's tough talking in generalities, but that's what you did so, pft. I don't know, but sometimes I get the feeling from what you write, that you are sometimes complacent in whatever you are doing and whatever you are generally/vaguely talking about and although you think you are kinda happy, you are afraid to change anything b/c (and this is my extraction) you're afraid of being unhappy until you can be happy again and unwilling to take a risk or risks. Just what a plumfairy takes from it, so that doesn't really mean much anyway. OK, so to sum up, keep questioning yourself and what you want. Don't be complacent and change things according to what you learned from past mistakes. yay!

So something I regret is not looking at a map before I went up to estes park this weekend. fort collins is between aurora and there and I could have met up with you for lunch or something in the evening after the scottish games. I'm sorry. It's actually not very far, so let me know if you want to hang out. I've never been to Boondocks and someone told me its fun. Eh. Take care.

Oh, don't get me wrong. Second guessing is all good. I do it all the time and sometimes it makes me very depressed. But if I stop questioning myself, what more am I than an automaton that carries out a program that I have given myself a long time ago, or worse, that has been given to me by other people? I'm just saying that it's often not as simple as right or wrong.